all my entries from now on are really long overdue.

lets see. we had our prom on monday. honestly, the moment i walked through the doors of ritz carlton, i wanted to turn around and run back out again. everyone was clad in their finest, flashes were going off here and there, and the whole scene just seemed to unnerve me. probably also because i couldn't seem to find a familiar face through all the make-up, dyed hair and glitter. but the rest of the evening proved to be a rather enjoyable one. yes, everyone was simply obsessed with taking snapshots together with their friends. i guess i was too. but at times, i was just contented sitting at the empty table where almost 80 times 10 buckeroos worth of food was being laid with noone to finish it up. haha. by the end of that evening though, my jaws were aching like mad. funny and stupid thing is, i look the same in every photo anyway. smiling the same way, posing the same way...haha..whatever it was, i'm glad i came for prom, even if some might beg to differ. and post-prom was just as fine too. =)

anyway, at this moment, i'm rather busy sorting out university applications. i really do want to fly away from here. not because i hate this place, but because i'm seeking change. i need a kick. and i need money too. sponsors, anyone? anyway, i procrastinated for God knows how long and i started getting desperate because only up till recently, i hadn't done a single thing for my future education. then all along, comes this old-time friend of mine who offers to help me...start from scratch. i don't know what i'd have done without you, phaemie. so now, i'll have to rush my applications like mad! and i still need to see my teachers for recommendations! oh boy! pray for me!!

and well, life suddenly seems brighter and filled with renewed hope. and sometimes, the most incredible things which we least expect to happen actually do. it seems that they only happen at the moment we finally choose to let go. when we finally choose to stop worrying about them. through the recent events that have occured in the past few days, i can genuinely vouch for that. when life takes away something from you and you feel that all is lost and you can't go on, just remember that something better is always about to come your way. it just takes a little faith. God takes things away only to replace them with something better. some may liken Him to a cruel witch who gives a child a sweet at one moment and takes it away from him the next. but hey, if we don't spit that pathetic little sweet out of our mouths, how are we gonna make room for the delicious chocolate cake? and if we don't get rid of that either, how are we gonna make space for that yummy ben & jerry's chocolate fudge brownie ice-cream? huh? huh?

well, as cliched as this may sound, i truly believe that there is a source behind all things, most of them invisible to the human eye but visible to the heart. and that source is love. and only good can come out of it. and it's this belief that allows my heart to keep on smiling even in the midst of all the pain that this life brings. am i just kidding myself? am i just consoling myself with such delirious delusions? whether i am or not, i choose to hold on to it anyway. what's the point of sulking? since we're already here anyway.