actually, i had typed out a list of songs to post on today's blog. but the more i added, the more i wanted to add. i was getting carried away. and finally concluded from some common sense i had left, that i would never end this blog by today. so, i erased it all. too bad, for us all.

feeling pretty tired and i'm kinda stinking up this place. but i feel better than i did bout a bit more than an hour ago. staying at home was driving me crazy and making me sick. took my bike for a spin and i wanted to die after going up the stupid slope. but downhill was bliss.oh yeah, got myself a new bell and a frontlight. the bell says, "i *heart* my bike". how sweet. the sticker won't last forever.

then again, i think the vitamins i took this morning made me sick. not the staying at home. on saturday, my mom came home with a big bag full of vitamins. it was unbelievable. my dad says we have to build up our immunity in this time of SARS especially. makes sense. but you should have seen the number of bottles there were in that bag. so now, i have to take at least 4 different kinds of drugs every morning. vitamin c, multi-vites, memory booster and eye-care. and you know what? ever since i started taking them, i've been feeling worse than ever. body's been aching, throats sore, headaches. it's almost as if i'm down with...FLU. that's not too good now, is it?

it happened the last time too. when i started taking vit C, cos my mom made me take them, i felt really flu-ish too. so like what? doctor, tell me...am i allergic to vitamin C??

pretty much did nothing much today.

some people love sundays.

some people look forward to sundays.

some people live for them.

me?

i get pretty anxious most sundays. it's too nerve-wrecking.

it's like walking on a path of broken glass, barefeet.

BUT.....

i try to remember to wear my shoes these sundays...

and then it doesn't seem so bad.

"Seven days without laughter makes one weak."

the hols are really doing me good. a hell lot of it. for one thing, we've gotten the bike repaired. so i'll have a biking companion now to do crazy shit with now. repaired my brother's bike so my other brother can use it. go figure.

i think the bike shop uncle is one damn cool guy. this strong old man in his humble shop, fixing the bikes of gangsters and little kids, housewives and teens, and whoever. sincere about his job. gentle and calm. simply knowing what to do. yea, interesting. the bike shop in serangoon north ave 2.

anyway the journey home was really fun. my brother and i zooming all over the place, jumping off curbs and stuff. and my other brother sNakeboarding behind on his friend's snakeboard. he's getting his own one real soon. heard it's one of the best around. let's see.

started on this book about some mental asylum called mount misery. which is the name of the book. getting pretty interesting. and i'm interested in all this anyway. pretty thick though. but nevermind. we're all kinda under quarantine now. self-enforced or otherwise. cos of sars. i was so near the place today. cos i went to national skin centre for my foot. my mom was so scared. but she isn't scared of going to church this sunday where 10 pple are infected already. it's getting scary man. didn't expect it to reach this state.wow.

and yesterday was pretty cool too. bored shitless, my brother and i decided to go play some ping-pong at some void deck under some hdb block at hougang. then, thirsty, we decided to explore some new neighbourhood while looking for a shop. interesting trip. when we came back, we headed to the playground. me on my bike, he on his sKateboard. another brother. he was teaching me stuff. showing me how to tackle stairs and all, which i used to do. tried again yesterday. forgot how fun all this used to be. how i used to try to beat my brothers and show them i was better cos i was the oldest. funny things we used to do to win each other.

been two pretty awesome days. yeap, the hols are good for the soul.

just finished a book today. sci-fi. shireen, who would've thought? haha. the book's called ender's game by orson scott card. some may have heard of it before. anyway it was recommended to me by joel.great book. really interesting. might get started on another book. just deciding which one it should be.

oh yes, i'm at the beginning of another one and a half week holiday by the way. cos of SARS. was no touble getting back into the swing of hols after a three-day break from it. heh. bad part is, it'll eat into the june hols. good part is, i don't have to attend dc tomorrow. and i didn't feel like going to school today anyway. i feel like this is a second chance for me. to do the things i couldn't get a chance to do during the hols last week. make wise use of this, shireen. don't be an ass again!

got a foot appointment later. but it's such a pain to go all the way there, to the skin centre. feel lke changing the appointment. and maybe i just will. need to do something. need to go somewhere. need to see something new. need to do something new. need to go on a cruise! need a kick! sky-diving?

just need a breath of fresh air. that's all.

i don't believe self-mutilation is limited to slicing one's wrist.

i believe it comes in other forms. when you purposely cause pain to yourself and do nothing otherwise to stop the pain, you are in a way mutilating yourself. and you wear your scars on your furrowed brows, your red and puffy eyes, the turned-down corners of your mouth. you don't laugh like you used to. and when you do, your eyes get shifty. you don't want them to know how much effort you're putting into this pretense. you wish you could wear your sadness freely but then, you might as well wear nothing at all. you have to hide those scars, the way the guy with those carvings on his wrists wears his long-sleeved shirts to cover the embarassing scars up. not so strong as you thought he was, aye? we're both just running away. and falling deeper into the pits of self-inflicted misery we dug. and we keep digging. keep picking at the scars to watch it bleed more.

everyone tells us that it's ok. and that things will get better. and that nothing's changed. but it feels like the total opposite. really, there's only so much that other people can do or say. there's only so deep you can go before you're lost for what seems like forever in the suffocating darkness. you have to come out at some time. whether you crawl out or leap out or get pulled out of it, just make sure you get out of it. unless you want to make misery your home and tears for your backyard pool.

i miss laughing so hard that it hurts. i miss coming home from school and sighing with satisfaction as i reminisce the great day i've had. i miss looking at people in the eye and having a decent conversation with them. i miss having care-free free blocks and care-free free days after school. i miss the friends who i have to struggle to keep but find myself letting go off instead. i miss the way a beautiful day makes everything else appear with a tinge of sweetness. i miss the person i used to be.

at the moment, i've become just another self-mutilating freak. and i pray i come through, fast.

i tried to shut them up. the stupid chicken voices in my head. but i can't turn away from and deny the reality that is unfolding infront of me. nor can i run away from it. and changing it makes no difference. it just leads to another kind of reality, running along the same lines. i can tell the whole world how i feel and what i'm afraid of but i can't seem to tell it to the people who play the biggest parts in it. i just couldn't wait to get home from school today. am i running too much? am i tiring myself out for nothing?

maybe.

i think and strongly recommend that everyone should master the art of falling.

i've always been very very extremely horribly scared of falling. i'm not afraid of heights, but i'm petrified of falling. i can't jump over the smallest things and when i do, i jump really high for fear of tripping. i have trouble getting onto a skateboard for fear it'll slip under me. i don't even take the first step. i have to oversome a great mental argument in my head before i can put both feet on a snakeboard. and just recently, i started blading again. i couldn't even bring myself to try to take that step to stand up by myself after putting my blades on.

yesterday i went to the beach. with a few classmates. they wanted to blade. i gave in to peer pressure, which i happened to give to myself, really. and i bladed! i didn't fall down for a really long time, mostly because the way i was blading was so stagnated. so cacat! then just as i thought i was getting good, i fell!!! right on my bum!!! and this construction worker who happened to be the only person around looked so shocked as though he couldn't believe that something so horrible could happen to anyone. but you know what? it wasn't that bad. it wasn't bad at all. in fact, picture this. some girl sitting on her bum alone in the middle of the track, laughing away to herself. that's how it looked like.

and after that, i wasn't so scared to fall anymore. i just kept going and going, faster and faster. it was a great improvement.

today, i went to the beach again. and i bladed again. with my daredevil of a brother, jeevan. he helped me to change my focus from falling to overtaking the green-shirted girl blader way ahead in front of me. and i beat her! haha! and i was blading even faster than ever before. and i just started again yesterday! woooh.

really, everyone should master the art of falling. only by falling do we realise we have nothing much to lose. and then we can go farther than ever before. now many of us are afraid to fall. therefore, by mastering the art of it, we'll fall with grace and style and of course, with the least pain possible, which would make falling seem not so bad after all.

oh no oh no. i have so many things to say! but i need to sleep early. and i have to type softly, that takes alot of effort. i have to type softly cos my mom will get started on me if she hears the click-click of the keyboard and realises that i'm still awake. this is too nerve-wrecking. so i'm checking outta here now!

everyone's talking about the war. everyone's blogging about the war. it's a generalisation i admit. anyway, i'm gonna refrain from talking about it or blogging about it today. and by the way, today refers to friday.

now, i loved today. today was sweet. today was simple. today was a day deserving of being part of the march holidays. the ideal way to spend a day during one of these march holiday days.

it started off with the routine i've grown accustomed to these hols. the routine -->wake up at 9 plus, take a shower, go downstairs, read the papers, watch tv, have lunch, watch oprah(yea, i do), watch a lil more tv, try to hit the books, more tv, dinner, tv, computer, sleep. have i bored you to death yet? if u're still alive and reading, then i guess not.

but today was slightly different. i went out with sheryl in the evening. first stop orchard library, to pick up some books that've been waiting for my eyes to set sight upon. wassup, books? then we walked around aimlessly searching for some place to chill out and fill our tummies at. ended up at scotts picnic.

and guess what? sheryl tay had gone broke after buying a drink. we had to split 10 between us. and i really wanted pasta...then i called yun and lo and behold, she was nearby! so i went over to starbucks at far east to play the role of the loanshark. got back 10bucks. so we could afford to eat the food we wanted.

and guess what? i was entitled to free pasta worth up to $9.90. there was this card in my wallet all along! silly girl, shireen. ah well, that left me with more money for an ice-blended. we hung out at scotts coffeebean, scrambling to the armchairs the moment they were abandoned. had a pretty nice conversation with sprinkles and dollops of laughter here and there. i like change. but i'm glad some things are still the same. like our friendship.

i decided to take the train home. i was amused and intrigued. amused cos, this man was so indiscreetly peering at some stuff a girl was reading. it just looked so funny. intrigued cos, this other guy was looking all around and then writing some stuff down on his notepad. looked like he was writing a poem and was looking around for inspiration.

i wonder what he wrote there. i wonder what he thought of the skateboarder with the bright green-rimmed glasses. i wonder what he wrote about the extremely curious man sitting next to him, peering at the girl's reading materials. i wonder what he wrote about the lovers on the other side. i wonder what he wrote, if he did, about me, the girl itching to read what he wrote but trying not to show it.

i love travelling home at night. i love observing the lone wanderers of the sundown hours, lost in their solitude, their thoughts and their dreams. seems we share an unwritten, unspoken mutual understanding. i love walking along the emptying roads, wishing the journey to the gatestep would drag on a bit, so i can listen to one more song on my discman. i love looking up at the glow of the moon, magical and mystical. what more the stars. they don't leave a harsh impact on my eyes, like the sun. the night has a certain magic about it. and as i wander through the waking hours of it, it is mine and i dwell in its calmness and gentleness, till at last, i fall under its spell into slumber.

i don't know. it's been a weird day.

how i woke up in a rage. how i put on my running shoes and ran and ran. how the angry thoughts rushed through my head till they became a blur. how the skin on my toes hardened from my stubbornness to stop. how the glaring, garing sun turned my brows into a frown. how as i reached the last few stages of my little journey the lyrics of U2's "walk on" and Our Lady Peace's "clumsy" mysteriously came alive in my head. how i bummed around in nothingness all day. how i talked things out with my dad. how it all changed in that one conversation. how my heart felt like it was on the same roller-coaster in alanis morissette's "mary jane", which also happened to play in my mind during the long walk home. how it's still being taken on a ride at this very moment.

how unsure i am of what tomorrow brings. how can i expect anything anymore? how much more unpredictable can it all get?

'life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's ok and everything's going right.."

but alanis also said that..

"life has a funny way of helping you out when you think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up in your face..."

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.
-Confucious

okie dokes....just got my shout out thingy up. feel so proud of myself. feel free to yell at me! hmmmm....

alright. just reached home a few minutes ago. i stink. can't u smell me? hope not.

just came home from...the party. definitely much better than the last one i went to. but still, not excellent or anything. it's ok, i enjoyed myself. and what's better is, i'm home! nothing like home. ur own bathroom. ur own bed. ur own everything. it's fun staying over. interesting. but this is just as good. funny thing is, my parents and everyone else at home have NO idea that i'm home i think. cos i told them i was gonna spend the night at my friend's place. it was fun. sneaking in and all. though, i don't know why i should even have to sneak in instead of just walking in with the bang i always make.

right, i stink. i think i said that already. i decided to put make-up today. never WANTED to do that before. always allowed it to be put on my face only if i was forced to. i gave my mom and my "aunty" quite a shock when i came up with that request. dunno. just wanted to slap some on to complete the look. some look. "aww, i''m such a big girl now..."

have i metioned that i stinked? third time now, shireen. go take a bath, girl!

watched a disturbing documentary on discovery channel. world war 2 stuff. what struck me was the fact that at this certain village in japan, the villagers were required to know how to throw grenades. but they didn't know how to! so hey were forced to kill each other. parents killing children. husbands killing wives. insane. they had to do things like stone them or beat them to death. just mad. and they showed the horrors of the bomb's effects on hiroshima. indescribable. and the state of the people. i mean, i've seen things like these so many times on so many other similar documentaries. but it just gets me everytime.

then as i was browsing the papers today, it felt no different from watching documentaries and movies about war where they screen newspapers headlines with the word "WAR" in big, bold letters. i'm strongly against the imminent war in iraq. the effects, if saddam were to unleash some secret nuclear bomb or whatever, would be worse than the hiroshima one, i imagine. even up to today, people are still suffering from the after-effects of that bomb. i'm really pessimistic about this whole thing. i won't be surprised if there's another world war. US, iraq, north korea. and terrorist groups are reinforcing their forces. and there are more. it's scary.

u know what's worse. that saddam has deployed child soldiers from as young as 10. this sucks.

ok so i'm going for a party tonight. (anti-clmax, i know) i know i didn't sound too happy about these kinda things in one of my blogs in the past. but well, it does sound like fun today. so what the hell. not like i've got anything better to do later on. other than sleep or come online...hmmm...i know...money. oh heck. shut up shireen.

listening to without you by silverchair. love his voice. and love the last part. weirdly cool.

"Life lives, life dies. Life laughs, life cries. Life gives up and life tries. But life looks different through everyone's eyes."

the song's been around for quite a while really. i used to be crazy over it. and pobably still am. cos every once in a while i'll be having this mad itch to listen to it all over again. a strangely logical song with a strange name. standing outside a broken phone booth with money in my hand BY primitive radio gods. one of my all-time faves.

Am I alive or thoughts that drift away?
Does summer come for everyone?
Can humans do what prophets say?
And if I die before I learn to speak
Can money pay for all the days I lived awake
But half asleep?

wow. just watched forrest gump for the somethingth time. was on hbo. and that was the word it left me with. wow.

a gem of a movie really. filled with simple little philosophies about life, all making alot of sense. it's pointless to talk about it in a blog. there's too much to say. it's just amazing, beautiful.

i don't have much to say about today. don't feel like saying much about anything.

i tried to submit a blog in yesterday. a damn depressing poem to describe my state of mind. but blogger just wouldn't allow it. or something else. and i guess that's no coincidence cos i really shouldn't be complaining so much. and something must've been telling me to shut the *peep* up. =P

well....it's been one helluva rollercoaster week. seriously. but i guess it ended well. and i stepped off without puking all over myself. i have a whole lot of pple to thank for pulling me out before i fell totally into the black hole of depression. thank you, all of you. it was scary man. i think i must've scared some of you too, especially those who have never seen me this way. guess we learn something new about each other once in a while, if not everyday.

alot of things to type out....but my fingers are tired of walking and my mind needs some dreamin.....later!

well. i felt almost as troubled as i did yesterday today. but i spoke about it to yun and am glad i got some more things off my chest. and mars has really been a great friend too. i just need to shut those chicken voices in my head before i turn into a paranoid android(radiohead). i'm slowly trying to get accustomed to the changes in my life though it may take a little while. i have no other alternative. i don't want to wither. that's not what happens in a supernova.

went to tekong and i must say, i am rather good at the m-16. seriously. i rock! =P but mars was better of course. commando girl, woooh! it was rather amusing, though frightening at first, seeing the guy momentarily paralysed when he fell into the barb wires. they're not supposed to move when that happens; just turn into a statue and wait for assistance. poor dude. infront of a whole bunch of AC j2s.

oh yeah, it was my first visit to a petrol station toilet today. interesting. the result of getting a lift for jamie. ok yes, shireen is so swaku!

jj and yun cracked me up during lecture today. i was totally amused and bewildered but oh well. i have much to thank them for. funny people. i almost died laughing.

that's a good way to die, don't u think? ;)

there are some days i wish would never happen. some days i wish i to totally eradicate from my mind. some things i wish never took place. some things i wish would. sometimes i just wanna run away from everything and everyone. from all the people who....i don't know.

but my heart was heavy today. and still is. and i don't know what to do about it. a heavy heart makes people sigh, it made me sigh a couple of times today. all that possitivity, i sometimes i wonder where the hell i got it all from. and now i wonder where the hell it all went...

i'm at a loss. i really don't know what to do.

sometimes, some things just seem so hopeless. the nearer you get, the farther you actually realise it is. that's what's happening now. and boy does it suck. it's as though it's taunting me. and i can't seem to hold on to the advices i give people so very often. so i guess, that's how things are, stagnant. just the perfect breeding waters for bloodsuckers.

was watching the mj interview, got bored after watching for ten minutes though. so i'm up here bloggin. 'cept that i have nothing much to blog today. and i just realised i have a physics graph to draw! but heck. tomorrow! and chem assignment due but heck. tomorrow! i can't wait for holidays....though i know not why. i can sense a bit of the grouch coming on so i think i'd better go kiss the day good night soon...

god have mercy on me....i'm sorry i ate so much ice-cream today! =P

"A supernova is a gigantic explosion that finishes off a supergiant star. For just a brief moment, the supernova flashes out with the brilliance of billions of suns. They are rare and short-lived, but there is always one somewhere in the universe."

i was at a bookshop today. read that paragraph in one of those kid's "amazing facts" books. and it was such a beautiful paragraph i decided i had to write it down. that's how i wanna exit. with a bang! to leave the world in awe and wonder. to make an impact...

"shooting stars never stop even when they reach the top....there goes a supernova....!" words of frankie goes to hollywood. those lines kept playing in my head the whole day, after i read that paragraph. my dad used to play this song in the car alot. and now, it's become one with us.

just watched a programme on national geographic about scientists and their lives. really inspiring. really beautiful. really spiritual. ironically, they seem to be the ones who appreciate the works and mind of God the most, more than the rest of us. they seem to be the ones who want to go out there and do the works of charity, be it for the animals, for the cancer patients or for the dwellers of slums.

one physicist said something really thought-provoking. how we're like the goldfish in the water. how do we know that something bigger exists? through ripples and waves created on the surface above and around us. neat, huh? alot of intense stuff was said and discussed on that documentary.science used to bore me to death. now it seems to make everything more exciting and more beautiful. it makes me marvel and wonder, more than i ever have before. and it's reassuring to know that science and spirituality can work hand in hand in our quest for truth and for god.

we're like goldfish in the water.

i was feeling pretty stoned out and bored today. was feeling a bit edgy and irritated too. but things took a turn finally after school. yun brought me to her hair salon at tanjong pagar. i wanted to get my fringe done, see. wanted to get some really spunky, funky do. so maybe i didn't get that funky, spunky do in the end. but let me tell you, i got something better that lasted for a few minutes...

i got the best head massage of my life. and if that wasn't enough, i got a shoulder and back rub, a shoulder and neck and arm massage, and more head massages! it was super shiok!!! i told her so. Iddy. if that's her name and if that's how it's spelt. yun and jj accompanied me. quite funny. there i was doing my hair while they just sat there reading magazines and talking here and there and watching me get the coolest massage in the world. then we had dinner later. it was quite a fun dinner. we laughed quite a bit and talked quite a bit. and i have more things to look forward to now.

i'm in debt now. financially crippled. but it's ok. i'll get around it. with next week's allowance. and then i'll get around next week's debt with next next week's allowance and bla bla bla...

strange day. strange feelings. strange thoughts. strange dreams. strange.....now "strange" is beginning to look strange.

whatever. =)

i'm glad to be alive today. there was a time when i saw no point in living cos life didn't make sense to me. i didn't understand what the point of living was when i didn't even understand why we existed in the first place. when i didn't even understand why there had to be anything at all. why anything ever existed. believe me, these questions gave me headaches. i know i'm not the only one. i'd get so depressed about nothing making sense at all. it was bad. but i've reached the point where all that doesn't matter anymore. it doesn't.

cos the point is, i'm here and i'm living and i'm breathing and i can feel. and it feels good to be alive today. and that matters. the questions can wait. i'll get the answers one day. and even if i don't, it doesn't matter cos i wouldn't wanna miss a thing in this life. there's too much beauty, too many things to love. it would be a waste if it all never existed. it would be a waste if i wasn't here to enjoy it.

some may not see any beauty in this life. the one who got rejected by that special girl or guy, the one who lost a loved one in an accident, the other who didn't get into the jc or uni or whatever he/she wanted, the man or woman who lost his/her job, being retrenched, and so the list goes. a kinda filter might have been put over their eyes, where everything which passes through is seen in a different light, is marinated with a tinge of bitterness. maybe what they lost was all that meant to them in life. but do they realise that it isn't everything in life? that there's hope? that there's something called time? that there's always an open door their backs are facing all because they're still staring teary-eyed at the door that slammed shut so cruelly on them? we gotta open our minds, use a bit of creativity. i know it's really easy for me to say all this. too easy. but i've failed before, i've lost things i've always wanted, i've fallen too. just like you. but now, i always remind myself, "never lose sight."

if we only love our money, if we only love our looks, if we only love that which gives us security, who's gonna love the flowers, the beautiful flowers that were meant for us to enjoy?

i thought yun was kidding when she said i looked yellow today. she said that i looked green yesterday (!!!) but guess what? i looked into the mirror just now...and i think i'm turning yellow!!! what...the....

does lack of sleep do this to one? i don't know! just returned from tuition. ok like, 45 min ago. my gosh is it late! i'm amazed that i survived. like 9hrs of school is not enough. mamamia!

"To everything, turn, turn, turn.
There is a season, turn, turn, turn.
And a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to gain, a time to lose.
A time to rend, a time to sow.
A time for love, a time for hate.
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late."

met up with some of my old pals today. and u know, i've always been apprehensive about meeting up with old pals. what if there's nothing to talk about anymore? what if nothing's the same between us anymore? what if? what if? what if?

but, now i say, bullocks to all that worrying and what ifs man. i had a fine time today. just chilling with my old pals again. doing crazy stuff. making fools out of ourselves. laughing like morons.and talking plain crap. ah, it's like nothing's change. putting on our bimbo acts. harmlessly insulting each other. laughing at ourselves and with each other. i'm glad time hasn't turned our friendship mouldy. it still feels as fresh as the morning sunshine. but i'm not a morning person. so it feels more like the sunsets, surreal and beautiful, the kind that leaves a warm feeling in your heart after a real lovely day or even a shitty one...

i was just telling yun today that changes can be really difficult to handle but i couldn't possibly live without them. how mundane life would be. and there'd be no kick. as much as i left my softball dreams and close friends behind in rj, i'm glad i entered into a new school. i'm glad for all the changes thrown into my life. i'm glad for all my successes. i'm glad for all my failures. they all brought me to where i am today. i may have been down and out for a while, failure after failure, but a greater good always seems to come out of it. so when any shit gets thrown into my face nowadays, i always hang in there, believing in the greater good that'll come outta it. hey, it's just shit anyway. all we gottta do is flush it all away...

chin fung and yun both agreed i looked green this morning. they said my face looked green. HUH? i think it's cos i'm not getting enough sleep. not good. so good night! =P

woooooh! i finished my gp essay! alot of planning went into this. please let me get a better grade this time! haha.

quite a productive weekend. i can't wait for tomorrow, for the lil thingy after school.

i don't know how i'm going to break the news to harvey. mc for 4 months. he'll just flip! it's not my fault. i didn't ask for a 4-month mc. the doctor hauled it upon me. honest!

you know this whole cat class thing is really doing me lotsa good. there's so much i never knew and never understood about my faith while just following blindly. but now, i'm really growing to appreciate it. wonder how long that'll last but i hope to see the greater good come outta it.

why the hell am i so petrified of harvey right now? probably cos he's always putting pple in a spot. i hate difficult situations. i try my best to avoid them. so he's not exactly my best friend at this. but, it's not my fault! haha. ok get a grip shireen.

a funny article in the papers today. about blair saying that saddam is today's hitler and mahathir saying that the US is today's hitler. my my. this whole thing is getting pretty amusing as it is getting frightening. the thought of war just to overthrow one hitler, sacrificing the lives of so many. i mean, how can bloodshed of the innocent not be avoided in war?

the guava tasted good.

founder's day service was not so good.

then again, the organisation was quite good.

chicago was a really good show.

i found some good music to download and sample at hmv today.

the hershey's chocolate i ate today was good.

the crowds i had to squeeze through were not so good.

the walk home from the bus-stop was good.

the time spent with my friends was good.

the train-ride home was not so good.

the bus-ride home was good.

dinner was good.

some things are not so good. but alot of things are good.

feeder's "forget about tomorrow" playing through my speakers now makes me not doubt that.

the many good people i can find everywhere if i just let myself do so makes me feel there's still some, no, alot, of good in this world.

i know i'm really lucky. i know i'm really blessed. i know others have it tougher and it's not so easy for them to find good in this world.

i wanna help them. i want them to know that life doesn't always suck. that the simplest things can make it all right.

this is my truth. tell me yours. (manic street preachers)