everything's been squashed into such a short span of time i almost forgot about toroa's farewell dinner and horse-riding! but fortunately (or unfortunately, because it means another long draggy post), i remembered to attend them. for those not in the know, toroa international house is the residential college where i'm living in over here. i will still be here for another half a month (crap, that's FAST) but we had the farewell now because exams were starting soon, after which, everyone would be gone in their own time. the dinner was yummy albeit too much bready stuff. like the toroa ball, it was photos galore seriously. if you ask me, i would really like to just sit down, enjoy the food and have pretty decent conversations with people i've known and yet to know. however...there's really no point sitting down at your table. everyone is helter-skelter taking photos with everyone and anyone and the food's taking so long to come anyway. so ended up with a whole bunch of photos with a whole bunch of people and i think it wouldn't have made a difference if i super-imposed by face on every one of them. but it's all good i would say. who knows when i'll ever seen these people again?? how transient this life over here is. like the one in jersey last year. in those moments, everything is as real as real gets. but when it's all over, as cliched as it sounds, it feels like a distant dream from another life. yet, there will be those little reminders popping up every once in a while, telling you it was real, telling you never to forget how beautiful life can be and has yet to show itself to be.

and yes, as the picture below states, for old time's sake, the infamous paparazzi shots series...
the following day saw a bunch of us riding horses along deborah bay in dunedin. we had signed up for the hare hill horse treks, hoping it would satiate our lord of the rings fetish. however, it was not as fast-paced and exciting, though relaxing and refreshing nonetheless.

the night before, i was telling shanny how i couldn't wait to meet my horse. and rightly so, because horse-riding isn't just getting onto any horse and riding it just like that. it's about forming a relationship with the horse as well. the experiences with the horses that day reinforced my conviction that animals are so much like humans, with their own idiosyncrasies and habits and expressions. or maybe it's the other way round. i mean, you know how we transfer all our weight onto one leg when we stand sometimes, and kinda lift the other leg so it's toes are only touching the ground? yeap, the horses were doing that. and they would make these funny noises from time to time to clear their throats. and they would nudge you with their noses when they want their face to be scratched. they loved being stroked. some like it on their face or necks. some love being stroked on their bums. and each of the horses have such unique characters as well.

summer was really the cutest if you ask me. she was the smallest horse and of course, went to bavani. they made such a lovely pair, just look at that picture above! summer even had her own hairband, so sweet! my horse was anna, and she was the daughter of gavin's horse, shannon, and the youngest one in the whole lot. she liked banging into other horse's butts and using her head to nudge the owner who got so angry with her after a while. sometimes, she would follow really smartly. sometimes, she got a bit cranky. when all the other horses were busy gorging on grass, she would just stare out into the bay, as though she were in her own world, dreaming. but who knows right?

dias' horse was really funny. from the beginning, dias knew he had found his match. all the other horses were obeying instructions and obediently walked down the slope. dias' horse parted with the rest of us, wandered over to a patch of grass and suddenly walked down a flight of stairs infront of the whole group. everyone was puzzled and deeply amused. this horse, like dias, had to take the road less travelled. snow, that's the name, was one really hungry horse. he couldn't stop eating, while walking, and of course, while resting. at one point of time, during the break, we were given some fruit to feed the horses. snow was busy munching on grass and when the fruit was brought near its mouth, with his mouth still full of grass to the extent that it was sticking out and overflowing from its mouth, it still gobbled up the fruit and went back to munching and munching and munching. reminds me of reno! haha.

speaking of reno, i met a dog there named tigger. just like all the other animals on that farm, he had his own character too. while i was stroking him, he would roll over onto its back with a smile, waiting for me to tickle him. reminded me of reno. he was a very alert dog. when something was coming along the driveway, he would immediately get into alert mode and run to the gate to investigate the situation. if not, he would be smiling and walking from person to person to share his joy and simplicity of being with them.

after all that, attempted to study because my first paper is in two day's time on thursday. 23-24 chapters of abnormal psychology to fit into my meager brain. however, in between, we managed to squeeze out some time for a pot luck and it was nice that everyone managed to attend and everyone actually cooked something! everything tasted really good. sadly, the cake i baked kinda sunk. i have to practice more. need to prove myself when i get back! haha. but look at the amount of food! we actually managed to finished most, if not all. we had shepherd's pie (eugene), pork ribs (leonard), mustard chicken (shanny), baked spinach with cheese (gavin), minced beef and vege stew (dias), fried rice (bavani), pizza and wedges (johnson) and tim tam cappucino chocolate butter cake (shireen).

here's a group shot of us.

during the potluck, i got a phone call from news 93.8 in singapore! haha, it wasn't a surprise. melt set me up for it because she works there now doing her own talk show! anyway, her colleague on edutalk was interviewing singaporean students on exchange and in overseas universities and was looking for people to speak on the show. it was a conference call between the host, jeremy, and another exchange student from SMU, jesse james (who is in mexico, where i really would've loved to go if they had non-business courses offered), and me. it was really nice listening to jesse's experiences, he really speaks well. i think i must have sounded like a rich spoilt kid next to him! haha. anyway, if you're interested, it's on thursday morning and night, 910am and 910pm respectively. and on saturday, 8 something in the morning, i forgot. thanks melt, for giving me my virgin experience of being on air! in accordance with shanny, some part of me will be in singapore even though i'm really here. amazing, isn't it? if you really think about it.

i wanted to say so many things though. like i was sharing with johnson, it's hard. it's hard to give an answer just like that when you're asked point blank "what did you gain?", "what were the highlights?", etc, etc. because the list is endless, believe me. before this, i hardly cook at home, i don't even clean my own bathroom at home or do my own laundry. i don't do chores every weekend, like cleaning the kitchen or vacuuming. i'm doing groceries and accounts as well. i've never pumped petrol on my own at the petrol station. c'mon, i've never been in charge of my own car even. i've tried so many new things without a blink of hesitation which i'll never regret but won't list out now. and oh yea, this is the first time, i've come to a place all alone. i mean, morey's was similar but i had friends beforehand who were there with me and i don't think we did that much chores and it was just different, though a great experience nonetheless. yea, the list is endless. and the thing is, i feel like i'm where i should be because though i never really expected or anticipated most of the things that have come my way throughout this whole experience, they feel like the most normal things in the world to me, like i was ready for them anyway.

then, there were all those things i saw, things i felt, things that inspired me. just stepping out of the laundry room, looking at the green hills beyond, fills me with something good. can you imagine the rest of it all? i could've said so much, but i didn't. especially the most important things. i wanted to thank my parents, my family and all the people who have been supporting me, over here, back in singapore, from all the different parts of the world, but i didn't either. (i wanted to advertise for my car also haha.)

really, each experience is so unique. you have these 4 months, 5 months, so what are you gonna do with it?

oh, oh, there was an earthquake last night. i was sitting on my bed and studying and then felt the whole bed vibrating! i thought i must've been shivering but i was pretty warm and cosy. then i saw the standing light shaking and the water in the water-bottle on my table moving from side to side, like in jurassic park, when the t-rex was approaching. it was so cool! then it stopped. apparently there were 5 after-shocks after that but i was too deep in sleep to notice. mansi did and i asked her why she didn't tell me (c'mon, singapore is so flat and we're never in the thick of action) and she said she wanted to scream and she was so scared the floor would crack open! haha, mansi, mansi! and she was so appalled when i kept saying how cool it was we were experiencing this and she said, "cool? we are going to die!!" faint.

the earth is just so alive here! and johnson thinks it's us leaving a trail of doom and gloom wherever we go. we went to north island, near mount raupehu, and 2 weeks or so later, it erupted. we went to milford sound 2 weekends ago and the earthquake was reported to have occurred 60km off milford sound. johnson predicts that after we go to the glaciers, they'll crack open. let's hope otherwise.

here's a sneak peak at some part of my room. i love beds by the window and i always go for window seats, unless it's too hard to the toilet. and yea, i use 2 thick blankets and it does the trick so yea. my new study spot is on the bed against that pillow against the wall.


and a short reflection before i end. i was sitting in church on sunday, and i was suddenly thinking about my room at home. i had got it refurnished and repainted before i left. i was imagining the day i would be spending time in it again, sleeping on my new bed, playing my keyboard or guitars, staring out of the window from my bed, taking my shower with the new shower head, looking into my cupboard to find clothes to wear. and while i was over here, that room was still waiting for me and there were people preparing it for me. like the contractor who fixed my bathroom shower holder or aunty and the cleaning lady who dusted in once in a while. and people who occasionally slept in there from time to time in the wake of my absence would know it was mine. my period in dunedin was only temporary and i would be going back to that room soon and i just had to find my way home again. and it struck me it was a clear reflection of this life. this whole life on earth, is just one really long roadtrip, longer for some, shorter for others. we travel by different means, through our own unique routes, staying in different places, for some of us, maybe a villa, for some of us, maybe a crowded backpackers. some of us meet new people, grow to love them, but then have to leave them because our routes just diverge. some of us, meet new people, grow to love them, and find that our routes converge till we finally reach home. some of us have experienced more earlier on in our journey than others, and we have to be thankful for this, rather than angry at those who can't and won't understand; they have their own lessons to learn, just as you still have more to come. some of us haven't experienced the same things others have, and we have to be thankful for this, not bitter that we "weren't as lucky," in our own words. ultimately, when we've done and seen and felt and tasted and whatever all that we set out for, we find our way back...home.

i was talking to a friend online and told him that now i had done pretty much everything i wanted to do, i could die happy now. then, i immediately retracted that statement. because no, going home and being with my family and loved ones is also part of this whole travelling thing. just like i know for certain (though nothing is certain), that there is a room definitely waiting for me back in my earthly father's mansion, there is one waiting for me in my heavenly father's mansion and it is being prepared lovingly in the anticipation of my homecoming. and that itself is a clear reminder of where we come from and where we belong.

"there are many rooms in my father's house, and i am going to prepare a place for you. i would not tell you this if it were not so. and after i go and prepare a place for you, i will come back and take you to myself, so that you will be where i am. you know the way that leads to the place where i am going." - john 14:2-4

johnson the rat's been warning me to update because he's on the verge of drowning the waterbaby. take a chill pill, shireen's been busy!! she blames it on the super-addictive 24 (please don't watch it if you have a life). but she also blames it on her rushing assignments, cooking to fill her perpetually-growling tummy, planning trips as travelling ranks high in priority, chatting because she misses you and you and you, watching a drunk guy try to pick up eugene and dias at the oldest bar in dunedin and oh yea, driving to queenstown to bungy and river-sledge, braving all sorts of climates to pay homage to the incredible milford sound and getting lost in the hugest maze in the world and lying down on benches and boardwalks and rocks against the backdrop of mountains and blue skies under a thin ozone layer where the sun turned her into crisp at wanaka amongst many other things. so give her a break will ya???

(but anyway, there's always shanny's blog!)

it was quite a mad rush as we were leaving for queenstown because i was watching as much of 24 as i could to the last second before we had to leave and i had to go fetch everyone. i'm feeling so lazy i don't feel like posting up every single detail of the trip. so...i'll just talk about a few things.

thursday, 4th oct 2007: dunedin - queenstown

we left for queenstown on thursday evening. in my car were johnson and bavani, the two littles sickies, while shanny and gavin tagged along in dias' car. the drive there was really beautiful and the dark clouds added to the darkly mysterious ambience that enshrouded the route. somehow, the grey skies make the grass greener and the mountains and rocks a bolder grey. there is a certain stillness in the car but you know out there, everything is subject to the whims and fancies of nature. and if i can put a finger on it, that's what i love about new zealand, amongst many other things. people make way for nature. we have to build around it, walk around it, drive around it. those mountains and hills that have existed for thousands of years, the temperamental weather, the raging white waters, the unpredictable and forceful avalanches, the volcanoes who choose to wake from their slumber whenever they feel like...you know what i mean. and i think it's really commendable how kiwis take extra good care of these treasures and try their best to preserve them.

after 4 to 5 hours of driving with a pit-stop at alexandra in between where we had a nice outdoor dinner by the river, we arrived at pinewood lodge in queenstown where we immediately set off from to end up at minus 5, a bar made out of ice. i'm not kidding. everything in the bar was made out of ice except the floor. the seats, the tables, the sculptures, the bar, the glasses. i ordered some peachy thing with vodka served in an ice-glass and it tasted soooo good! it's just funny how we put on these coats, got ushered into the bar (just the 6 of uss and our very own bartender), took alot of photos, tried to dance to some music, crashed our glasses into a bin (that's how we were told to dispose of them) and were out in half an hour. something really strange about that.

i was really tired, having slept at 5am the day before (or rather, the same day, don't ask why) and yet i couldn't recover my sleep debt properly (the story of my sleeping-life for the days to come) because, lets just say, i'm a light sleeper and it takes time for me to knock out.


friday, 5th oct 2007: queenstown - milford sound - queenstown

next morning (friday), we headed off to milford sound, johnson, bavani, shanny and me. the sky looked alright in queenstown but a while later in the midst of our journey, these looming dark clouds greeted us and refused to take a hike, taking a piss on us from time to time. can't say i complained much though. 1. i'm used to getting assaulted by all sorts of weather in just two layers of clothing by now. 2. it made everything alternate between looking like we were in narnia and the lost world and middle earth. at times, it snowed, at times it rained. one moment, we're beside a lake in te anau with moutain ranges as the backdrop. and another, we're on the plains of mosburn where the winds are so strong the branches of trees are perpetually pointed in one direction. and if we're not in those places, we are somewhere in the middle of jungles that make you feel not far from the amazon or between snow-covered fjords with (countless!!) waterfalls trickling down the sides of the steep and unbelievably huge mountains (the expanse is breath-taking i'm not exagerating, it makes you feel sooooo small and overwhelmed, just how i like it) and the threat of avalanches being very real. our guide, big D (i told him i'd remember him as the guide with the best music selection to which he replied that was a really long name), had to stop the coach from time to time to fit on chains and then take them off because the temperamental weather kept changing (i think the weather is like a guy with andropause). being in new zealand is your geography classroom expanded to a billion times its size and talk about hands-on, the world is your lab. you can be a doctor, a farmer, a barber, a housewife, a porn star, but you can't not learn something here and be amazed. you are a part of it and maybe, even at mercy to it. earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, hail, snow storms...the threats are real and can happen anytime because the earth is so alive here, and because of that, more beautiful than ever. how is it that every corner you turn, in the remotest of areas, in your own backyard, that may be the mountains, lakes, sea cliffs, you find a surprise always waiting for you? a part of this earth, a part of life you've never seen before? and even more astounding is the fact that while you only just discovered it, it has been there for generations after generations. your life is just a mere speck compared to its own. and if you find yourself silent in its presence, rightly so you should be as you venerate creation and the creator who makes himself known through it.

if you think i'm meandering from the post, well, meandering is part of the plan here when i travel. the meandering which brings inspiration, thrills the spirit and makes the heart sing, cry, laugh, rage and soar. now, lets meander back to milford sound.

we had to kill one hour at milford sound(what will we do without google and wiki? seriously.) as our ferry was delayed. i was so bored i read every exhibit and looked at every picture at the visitor centre. we had a nice view while waiting though. you never run out of fantastic treats for the eyes over here. because of the dark weather, there were countless of waterfalls once again. after gulping my roll down hungrily, i ventured to the top open-air deck, braving the wind and the occasional rain. i love to stand on the decks of ships, especially in slightly rocky waters; it makes me feel like i'm on an adventure (if you ask me, most of the adventures are in my head but this is how i make my own fun haha). i found a spot for one right in the middle at the front of the ship which even had a space for me to sit and planted myself there for almost the rest of the ride, greeting each new waterfall and cliff and valley head-on. i took countless of photos to capture the moments but looking back, they all look the same but don't feel quite the same. there was a bunch of american tourists hovering near me and they were saying the most ridiculous things which made me laugh ("and on your right is fall 6281" or "and from here on, that fall will be called, 'bob-the-pain-in-the-ass falls'"), but also made me wish that i was on a kayak alone paddling through this misty, mysterious fjord. actually, ever since the day i saw the scene of the man kayaking in milford sound alone on lonely planet months ago, that has been one of my dreams; to do the same. i wonder whether i ever will get that chance to.

another endearing thing about this fjord is that you can find penguins, seals and even dolphins here. the weather was bad though but i think i caught a glimpse of a baby seal or baby dolphin, i will never know.

towards the end, the ferry neared a waterfall on the way back. and we insisted on going as near as possible to it, sacrificing our cameras, our minimal layers of clothing and for some of us, our already poor health to photo-whore. we ended up with a bunch of really misty, wet photos with really drenched and cold people as the subjects.

we slept almost all the way back to queenstown and were welcomed home by a really heartening meal cooked by dias and gavin, god bless you guys!! i remember bursting through the doors, shouting "i love you!!!" to the guys upon seeing the food and then trying to avoid looking at the other guests whose presence i just took notice of after that. cheers to another sleepless night, though i was so tired, i knocked out amidst the uncoordinated symphony at one point.

saturday, 6th oct 2007: queenstown - wanaka

another early start to the day, breakfast more rushed as each day passes, i still don't have the capacity to gulp down hot coffee in a few seconds and with an unwilling heart, emptied the remainder into the sink. dias, johnson and i then proceeded to "the station" to register for our bungy jumps. johnson did the kawarau one alone though i kept trying to persuade him to do the nevis highwire, the highest one in new zealand, with dias and me. he wouldn't budge though, he's a stubborn rat.

the moment we reached the nevis place, i was wondering why the hell i ever signed up. just thinking about it the past few days, weeks was frightening enough, the part between staying and jumping into nothingness. how do you stand on that ledge and keep your eyes open? and then, how do you jump off from it after that, by yourself? we started off by putting on our harnesses and were then carted off in a little cable-car thingy (the scariest one i've ever taken, it's open air which means if u lean too far, u can fall out and that's why we need harnesses to ride in it, and if you move too much in it, it could stop in the middle and it would take alot of effort and according to our guide, $10,000 to come fetch us) to the bungy platform suspended in the middle of two cliffs, 134m over the nevis river below. i can't explain to you the fear i was feeling, just looking down and looking at the ledge i would be jumping off from and looking at the view beyond that ledge. the first person jumped, then the second and everytime they left the ledge, my heart would skip a beat. third person, oh that's me. each penguin step (because of the way our legs were harnessed together) i took to the ledge was accompanied with a rising fear within me. i finally reached it and looked out and was told to look back and smile for some photos (yes, when my feet are at the tip of this ledge, i don't know how i managed to smile even). "1, 2, go!" and i jumped and i screamed like i probably never have, my arms outstretched, my eyes looking forward and suddenly i was going down, down, down and the screaming stopped to give way for silence as the realisation hit me, i did it. and as i bounced around at the bottom, i was smiling to myself like a crazy goon. as they pulled me back up, i just sat on my harness and took a look around, reveling at the fact that i did it, reveling at hanging there alone, reveling at the raindrops falling in slow motion (they really look different from there). and then i was up and when i was able to put my feet onto the platform, i realised my legs were totally shaking. was it because of the cold? was it because of the intensity of the moments before? i don't know. but how apt that during the whole time, there was a full rainbow just infront of us. rainbows are like free here, just like the mountains and the rivers; you don't need to go looking for them.

dias jumped last. you know him, he craves challenge, adventure, thrills, anything that forces him to the extremes. here i am thinking about how i'm ever gonna jump off that ledge and there he is thinking about what to shout on the way down (he decided to shout "yee-ha") and what actions to do (when he jumped of the aukland tower, he looked like a frog swimming in the sky). there were 6 of us that morning, 5 jumpers and 1 spectator. it was a nice, cosy group and everyone was really supportive of each other. we took a photo together to mark this short journey together.


you can watch the video here! i look genuinely afraid and and at one point, i'm walking like a cross between a geisha and a penguin! and turn down your speakers! don't say i didn't warn you.



by the time we got back to queenstown, i was starving (i'm always hungry these days, even now!). johnson recounted to us his amusing bungy experience as we headed to fernburger (he claims he loves me, he as in fernburger la, not johnson the mean rat) where i gobbled down the hugest burger i've ever eaten. tried venison, never really tried it before. tasted quite good, and the thai sweet chilli sauce probably contributed to its yumminess. they called it "sweet bambi". we finally met up with the rest of them who went for a long morning hike to the gondolas and dias, shanny, gavin and i headed off for river-sledging while bavani and johnson went jet-boating.

river-sledging gave me the workout of my life, and we did it twice. i totally sucked i tell you. i just couldn't get the hang of swimming in flippers and ended up looking like a dysfunctional frog most of the time, totally unglam. because of the weird eddy currents and whatever other currents, i kept being sucked away into places i didn't wanna be in and the guides had to keep swimming over to save me. my crazy kicking (dias couldn't understand why i was kicking so hard and fast haha) didn't help either and kept pulling me back instead. i take my hat off to the guides, their fitness level and skills in tackling those currents and saving my life and others at the same time, impeccable. i think i'll never do this again, at least until i know how to swim well with flippers. gavin claims he drank 2 litres of water. dias was like a happy frog. shanny was like a towel in tumble-dry. as i told shanny, this was a day of many firsts for me. bungy, river sledging, drinking hot orange juice (which tasted good surprisingly and helped to warm us down) and going commando style teeheehee. i don't mean to sound kinky but it's become so normal to do everything in public now. pee outdoors, change outdoors, you really get the hang of living it wild here. i love it. and i don't feel so conscious anymore, at least not conscious enough to retard my experiences.

after a quick illegal shower, we headed off for some heavenly hot chocolate. i had the dark chocolate one. someone had lavender, i think dias. i felt like i was drinking aromatherapy. go there if you want to drink delicious water.

random picture in queenstown. no matter how random, there's always a good view to boot! not just the subject in the photo la! focus! haha. ;)

isn't this picture so goondoo?? i love it! good job, bav!!

we finally headed off to wanaka, and by then i was so exhausted. johnson drove and i just relaxed and enjoyed the amazing view on the way and serenaded bav and johnson together with my ipod. it was really an amazing drive there. the good views are just for free. you can pee while looking at them, have a sandwich and look at them, randomly stop somewhere for a drink and you'll still see them. as long as your eyes are open. we finally reached wanaka where we had an amazing dinner at a seafood restaurant. thinking about it now makes me hungry all over again. dias, johnson and i shared the seafood platter for two. it was more than enough and i was a very happy girl. shanny had the most interesting looking dish. a special thank you to johnson and bavani for helping me to locate a church to go for mass the next day. i had the most amazing sleep that night (just us three girls and the amazing sound of silence amidst the pouring rain) albeit a bit too short.

dias' car peeps. shanny, dias, gavin.

my car kakis till wanaka. johnson, shireen, bavani. (johnson, beware!)

sunday, 7th oct 2007: wanaka - dunedin

managed to wake up for mass. in my really tired state, it was still great being there. the eucharist on my left, the lake wanaka and the mountains on my right. met up with the others at i-site and we really had no idea what to do because it was too windy for water activities. we decided to head off first to puzzling world. we started off by going through this giant maze. something about the new zealand sun, it's just too piercing. it doesnt make you sweat but the ozone layer is really thin here, literally. this, coupled with the fact that i was starving, and also coupled with the fact that i was roaming around in that maze for the longest time ( must have walked like hell), i was knackered by the end of it. we proceeded inside for more puzzling discoveries and i was most amazed by the mirrors room where you felt you were falling uphill and the laws of gravity were broken. far from it really, gravity was working just as it should. illusions were as well.

after a really puzzling morning, we headed off for lunch. we chose to sit outside braving wind and sun under perfectly blue skies. i gobbled down my baked potato and bacon and milkshake and we went wandering around, still unsure about what to do. i just knew i wanted to sleep. badly. by then, i was feeling sooooo exhausted and dehydrated. i don't know why. but we ended up taking a looong walk by the lake. whenever we stopped, i promptly sought out a place to take a power nap on. the water looked so shioook i tell you. i wish i could have jumped in, so clear and inviting. i watched a documentary where the host was invited to drink the water straight from lake wanaka because it was sooo clean. i didn't get a chance to though. i didn't wanna drink the water nearer the shore. chicken, chicken. whatever. haha.

after that, because there really wasn't much else to do, shanny and i proceeded back to dunedin while the others headed on to fox glaciers. we didn't make one stop and ended up in dunedin by 745, making a bee-line straight for japanese food at minami where i struggled very hungrily with a very bony fish. i knocked out that night. it was all good. next up, horse-riding, taieri gorge trainride and catlins! but for now, it's back to the books, if the serials don't swallow me up first.

papa, mama, don't worry, i'm finishing my assignments on time and studying! =p jeevan, study hard, you can do it! i know it! aunty, can't wait to eat your mee goreng! pravin, looking forward to our roadtrip as well!! love you guys! =)

=)