everything's been squashed into such a short span of time i almost forgot about toroa's farewell dinner and horse-riding! but fortunately (or unfortunately, because it means another long draggy post), i remembered to attend them. for those not in the know, toroa international house is the residential college where i'm living in over here. i will still be here for another half a month (crap, that's FAST) but we had the farewell now because exams were starting soon, after which, everyone would be gone in their own time. the dinner was yummy albeit too much bready stuff. like the toroa ball, it was photos galore seriously. if you ask me, i would really like to just sit down, enjoy the food and have pretty decent conversations with people i've known and yet to know. however...there's really no point sitting down at your table. everyone is helter-skelter taking photos with everyone and anyone and the food's taking so long to come anyway. so ended up with a whole bunch of photos with a whole bunch of people and i think it wouldn't have made a difference if i super-imposed by face on every one of them. but it's all good i would say. who knows when i'll ever seen these people again?? how transient this life over here is. like the one in jersey last year. in those moments, everything is as real as real gets. but when it's all over, as cliched as it sounds, it feels like a distant dream from another life. yet, there will be those little reminders popping up every once in a while, telling you it was real, telling you never to forget how beautiful life can be and has yet to show itself to be.

and yes, as the picture below states, for old time's sake, the infamous paparazzi shots series...
the following day saw a bunch of us riding horses along deborah bay in dunedin. we had signed up for the hare hill horse treks, hoping it would satiate our lord of the rings fetish. however, it was not as fast-paced and exciting, though relaxing and refreshing nonetheless.

the night before, i was telling shanny how i couldn't wait to meet my horse. and rightly so, because horse-riding isn't just getting onto any horse and riding it just like that. it's about forming a relationship with the horse as well. the experiences with the horses that day reinforced my conviction that animals are so much like humans, with their own idiosyncrasies and habits and expressions. or maybe it's the other way round. i mean, you know how we transfer all our weight onto one leg when we stand sometimes, and kinda lift the other leg so it's toes are only touching the ground? yeap, the horses were doing that. and they would make these funny noises from time to time to clear their throats. and they would nudge you with their noses when they want their face to be scratched. they loved being stroked. some like it on their face or necks. some love being stroked on their bums. and each of the horses have such unique characters as well.

summer was really the cutest if you ask me. she was the smallest horse and of course, went to bavani. they made such a lovely pair, just look at that picture above! summer even had her own hairband, so sweet! my horse was anna, and she was the daughter of gavin's horse, shannon, and the youngest one in the whole lot. she liked banging into other horse's butts and using her head to nudge the owner who got so angry with her after a while. sometimes, she would follow really smartly. sometimes, she got a bit cranky. when all the other horses were busy gorging on grass, she would just stare out into the bay, as though she were in her own world, dreaming. but who knows right?

dias' horse was really funny. from the beginning, dias knew he had found his match. all the other horses were obeying instructions and obediently walked down the slope. dias' horse parted with the rest of us, wandered over to a patch of grass and suddenly walked down a flight of stairs infront of the whole group. everyone was puzzled and deeply amused. this horse, like dias, had to take the road less travelled. snow, that's the name, was one really hungry horse. he couldn't stop eating, while walking, and of course, while resting. at one point of time, during the break, we were given some fruit to feed the horses. snow was busy munching on grass and when the fruit was brought near its mouth, with his mouth still full of grass to the extent that it was sticking out and overflowing from its mouth, it still gobbled up the fruit and went back to munching and munching and munching. reminds me of reno! haha.

speaking of reno, i met a dog there named tigger. just like all the other animals on that farm, he had his own character too. while i was stroking him, he would roll over onto its back with a smile, waiting for me to tickle him. reminded me of reno. he was a very alert dog. when something was coming along the driveway, he would immediately get into alert mode and run to the gate to investigate the situation. if not, he would be smiling and walking from person to person to share his joy and simplicity of being with them.

after all that, attempted to study because my first paper is in two day's time on thursday. 23-24 chapters of abnormal psychology to fit into my meager brain. however, in between, we managed to squeeze out some time for a pot luck and it was nice that everyone managed to attend and everyone actually cooked something! everything tasted really good. sadly, the cake i baked kinda sunk. i have to practice more. need to prove myself when i get back! haha. but look at the amount of food! we actually managed to finished most, if not all. we had shepherd's pie (eugene), pork ribs (leonard), mustard chicken (shanny), baked spinach with cheese (gavin), minced beef and vege stew (dias), fried rice (bavani), pizza and wedges (johnson) and tim tam cappucino chocolate butter cake (shireen).

here's a group shot of us.

during the potluck, i got a phone call from news 93.8 in singapore! haha, it wasn't a surprise. melt set me up for it because she works there now doing her own talk show! anyway, her colleague on edutalk was interviewing singaporean students on exchange and in overseas universities and was looking for people to speak on the show. it was a conference call between the host, jeremy, and another exchange student from SMU, jesse james (who is in mexico, where i really would've loved to go if they had non-business courses offered), and me. it was really nice listening to jesse's experiences, he really speaks well. i think i must have sounded like a rich spoilt kid next to him! haha. anyway, if you're interested, it's on thursday morning and night, 910am and 910pm respectively. and on saturday, 8 something in the morning, i forgot. thanks melt, for giving me my virgin experience of being on air! in accordance with shanny, some part of me will be in singapore even though i'm really here. amazing, isn't it? if you really think about it.

i wanted to say so many things though. like i was sharing with johnson, it's hard. it's hard to give an answer just like that when you're asked point blank "what did you gain?", "what were the highlights?", etc, etc. because the list is endless, believe me. before this, i hardly cook at home, i don't even clean my own bathroom at home or do my own laundry. i don't do chores every weekend, like cleaning the kitchen or vacuuming. i'm doing groceries and accounts as well. i've never pumped petrol on my own at the petrol station. c'mon, i've never been in charge of my own car even. i've tried so many new things without a blink of hesitation which i'll never regret but won't list out now. and oh yea, this is the first time, i've come to a place all alone. i mean, morey's was similar but i had friends beforehand who were there with me and i don't think we did that much chores and it was just different, though a great experience nonetheless. yea, the list is endless. and the thing is, i feel like i'm where i should be because though i never really expected or anticipated most of the things that have come my way throughout this whole experience, they feel like the most normal things in the world to me, like i was ready for them anyway.

then, there were all those things i saw, things i felt, things that inspired me. just stepping out of the laundry room, looking at the green hills beyond, fills me with something good. can you imagine the rest of it all? i could've said so much, but i didn't. especially the most important things. i wanted to thank my parents, my family and all the people who have been supporting me, over here, back in singapore, from all the different parts of the world, but i didn't either. (i wanted to advertise for my car also haha.)

really, each experience is so unique. you have these 4 months, 5 months, so what are you gonna do with it?

oh, oh, there was an earthquake last night. i was sitting on my bed and studying and then felt the whole bed vibrating! i thought i must've been shivering but i was pretty warm and cosy. then i saw the standing light shaking and the water in the water-bottle on my table moving from side to side, like in jurassic park, when the t-rex was approaching. it was so cool! then it stopped. apparently there were 5 after-shocks after that but i was too deep in sleep to notice. mansi did and i asked her why she didn't tell me (c'mon, singapore is so flat and we're never in the thick of action) and she said she wanted to scream and she was so scared the floor would crack open! haha, mansi, mansi! and she was so appalled when i kept saying how cool it was we were experiencing this and she said, "cool? we are going to die!!" faint.

the earth is just so alive here! and johnson thinks it's us leaving a trail of doom and gloom wherever we go. we went to north island, near mount raupehu, and 2 weeks or so later, it erupted. we went to milford sound 2 weekends ago and the earthquake was reported to have occurred 60km off milford sound. johnson predicts that after we go to the glaciers, they'll crack open. let's hope otherwise.

here's a sneak peak at some part of my room. i love beds by the window and i always go for window seats, unless it's too hard to the toilet. and yea, i use 2 thick blankets and it does the trick so yea. my new study spot is on the bed against that pillow against the wall.


and a short reflection before i end. i was sitting in church on sunday, and i was suddenly thinking about my room at home. i had got it refurnished and repainted before i left. i was imagining the day i would be spending time in it again, sleeping on my new bed, playing my keyboard or guitars, staring out of the window from my bed, taking my shower with the new shower head, looking into my cupboard to find clothes to wear. and while i was over here, that room was still waiting for me and there were people preparing it for me. like the contractor who fixed my bathroom shower holder or aunty and the cleaning lady who dusted in once in a while. and people who occasionally slept in there from time to time in the wake of my absence would know it was mine. my period in dunedin was only temporary and i would be going back to that room soon and i just had to find my way home again. and it struck me it was a clear reflection of this life. this whole life on earth, is just one really long roadtrip, longer for some, shorter for others. we travel by different means, through our own unique routes, staying in different places, for some of us, maybe a villa, for some of us, maybe a crowded backpackers. some of us meet new people, grow to love them, but then have to leave them because our routes just diverge. some of us, meet new people, grow to love them, and find that our routes converge till we finally reach home. some of us have experienced more earlier on in our journey than others, and we have to be thankful for this, rather than angry at those who can't and won't understand; they have their own lessons to learn, just as you still have more to come. some of us haven't experienced the same things others have, and we have to be thankful for this, not bitter that we "weren't as lucky," in our own words. ultimately, when we've done and seen and felt and tasted and whatever all that we set out for, we find our way back...home.

i was talking to a friend online and told him that now i had done pretty much everything i wanted to do, i could die happy now. then, i immediately retracted that statement. because no, going home and being with my family and loved ones is also part of this whole travelling thing. just like i know for certain (though nothing is certain), that there is a room definitely waiting for me back in my earthly father's mansion, there is one waiting for me in my heavenly father's mansion and it is being prepared lovingly in the anticipation of my homecoming. and that itself is a clear reminder of where we come from and where we belong.

"there are many rooms in my father's house, and i am going to prepare a place for you. i would not tell you this if it were not so. and after i go and prepare a place for you, i will come back and take you to myself, so that you will be where i am. you know the way that leads to the place where i am going." - john 14:2-4