a semblance of an ordinary world
tennis was awesome yesterday. i felt so pumped up i'm not sure why. perhaps it was because of my annoying toothache. or the annoying traffic jam on the way(i hate all sorts of jams! blueberry jam, strawberry jam, silver berry jam, traffic jam, etc).
i felt like a cross between the williams sisters and a viking slaying dragons because every now and then, in between whacking the life out of those sorry green tennis balls, i was attempting to slay those irritating light flies (what do you call them?) with my tennis racket of a sword, swinging and slashing and prancing around. in between, i chased cute fat little frogs about, trying to veer them towards freedom (i.e. beyond the fences of the court). they were really cute. and fat. i was afraid they would end up in a squishy green glob of death.
finally found myself at a dental clinic today after god knows how many centuries. i was utterly shocked by the amount of blood i was spitting out as she polished and cleaned my teeth. bad news is it's only just started. worse news is i have to extract my erupting wisdom tooth in the very near future. good news is...well, i saw the dentist? and she graduated from otago! so we had some nice things to talk about. i really miss otago and my life there. it's one of those things i'm so glad i did. like really, shireen. at least one great choice you have made!!! oh dear, i'm talking to myself now, moving on...
so i'm at night shift now. feels good that i can finally spend more time with the girls instead of judges, officers, principals, reports etc. i love these girls the more i get to know them. they are really awesome, many times in ways i am not, and i hope i can help them all win.
i can smell the weekend already, i love fridays!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
spring is around the corner, baby!
i know, i know, i've been all sorts of emoish lately. we'll try to have less of that here, i promise! but every dog has its day and every girl has her...say? i know what you were thinking.
things have been looking up, or at least i have been. as much as my previous post seems to embody cynism, i assure you it is far from it. it's amazing what a sense of humour can do. it's amazing how a decision to just heck it and smilelaughguffaw actually makes you lighter as a person, to be, and to hang out with.
come on, shireen! you're back home "early" tonight! pack your stuff for tomorrow's tennis and swimming, take your shower, cuddle up into bed and put on some LOST!!!!
and i would still like to own a pet dragon.
i know, i know, i've been all sorts of emoish lately. we'll try to have less of that here, i promise! but every dog has its day and every girl has her...say? i know what you were thinking.
things have been looking up, or at least i have been. as much as my previous post seems to embody cynism, i assure you it is far from it. it's amazing what a sense of humour can do. it's amazing how a decision to just heck it and smilelaughguffaw actually makes you lighter as a person, to be, and to hang out with.
come on, shireen! you're back home "early" tonight! pack your stuff for tomorrow's tennis and swimming, take your shower, cuddle up into bed and put on some LOST!!!!
and i would still like to own a pet dragon.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
ha ha
perhaps, in all that haste to turn everything into laughter, i'll find one that's really genuine. you know? the heartfelt kind that makes you feel like you're being continuously punched in the guts and turns on the waterworks? funny how the best kinds leave you in such pain, wanting more of the same. funny how a good laugh uncannily resembles a good cry. funny.
what's that? you're not going to be there again? i raise my eyebrows, shrug my shoulders, sing a tune, smile and walk on. it works. you love me better this way. i love me better this way.
perhaps, in all that haste to turn everything into laughter, i'll find one that's really genuine. you know? the heartfelt kind that makes you feel like you're being continuously punched in the guts and turns on the waterworks? funny how the best kinds leave you in such pain, wanting more of the same. funny how a good laugh uncannily resembles a good cry. funny.
what's that? you're not going to be there again? i raise my eyebrows, shrug my shoulders, sing a tune, smile and walk on. it works. you love me better this way. i love me better this way.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
what i do best
You grow, you roar
Although disguised
I know you
You'll learn to know
You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow through the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside
You'll...
You'll learn to know
I wonder if I'm allowed ever to see
I wonder if I'm allowed to ever be free
You sound so blue
You now are gloom
You're now so blue
You now are gloom
I wonder if I'm allowed just ever to be
You grow, you roar
Although disguised
I know you
You'll learn to know
You grow, you grow like tornado
You grow from the inside
Destroy everything through
Destroy from the inside
Erupt like volcano
You flow through the inside
You kill everything through
You kill from the inside
You'll...
You'll learn to know
I wonder if I'm allowed ever to see
I wonder if I'm allowed to ever be free
You sound so blue
You now are gloom
You're now so blue
You now are gloom
I wonder if I'm allowed just ever to be
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
"status updates"
watched cop-out for the lack of a better available movie and i can now safely say i know at least 10,000,000 ways to annoy someone to his grave!!!
have started training at the gym and i love seeing the numbers go down, though it's not happening fast enough! also, i secretly love showing my trainer i'm tough stuff although i'm pretty much jelly and end up sheepishly grinning my resignation.
have finally decided to use ONE day of leave tomorrow (monday). i selfishly hoard my days of leave because i'm terribly optimistic i will be using it for a big road-trip sometime in the very near future.
discovered the joy of a helium can and letting go of heart-shaped balloons into the bottomless sky this afternoon. i felt a tinge of sadness as my very own purple balloon floated further and further away from me into those stormy grey clouds, carrying with it my cry of surrender of the things wrapped around my heart.
realised how utterly confused i truly can be. so totally sure one second, so totally not the next. i'm cool with it. i'm ready for the gunshot. bang!
:), i think.
watched cop-out for the lack of a better available movie and i can now safely say i know at least 10,000,000 ways to annoy someone to his grave!!!
have started training at the gym and i love seeing the numbers go down, though it's not happening fast enough! also, i secretly love showing my trainer i'm tough stuff although i'm pretty much jelly and end up sheepishly grinning my resignation.
have finally decided to use ONE day of leave tomorrow (monday). i selfishly hoard my days of leave because i'm terribly optimistic i will be using it for a big road-trip sometime in the very near future.
discovered the joy of a helium can and letting go of heart-shaped balloons into the bottomless sky this afternoon. i felt a tinge of sadness as my very own purple balloon floated further and further away from me into those stormy grey clouds, carrying with it my cry of surrender of the things wrapped around my heart.
realised how utterly confused i truly can be. so totally sure one second, so totally not the next. i'm cool with it. i'm ready for the gunshot. bang!
:), i think.
wanna put my tender
heart in a blender
watch it spin 'round into a beautiful oblivion
- inside out by eve 6
Saturday, March 13, 2010
the movies
your hand reached down from the abyss out there into mine. the connection whizzed through my entire body and sent a jolt right through my heart. the dead skin, the heavy blubber surrounding my heart, all started to melt away under the heat of your never-changing love. then i could not ignore it any longer. now, it is clearer than ever before and i'm in shock. is this really happening? will i really choose this? somewhere inside, i know i must! but.
so now i've started to reel in my heart strings that have gotten themselves anchored in what seems like the wrong place, for so long. i feel my heart start to beat more easily and my guts relax as i pull those strings in. what an insane, beautiful, excruciatingly painful mess we would all be in if you knew just what made me pull in these strings. what a disastrous, historical, monumental tragicomedy we would all be in if i actually followed my heart unquestionably and completely.
i mean, it only happens in movies, right?
your hand reached down from the abyss out there into mine. the connection whizzed through my entire body and sent a jolt right through my heart. the dead skin, the heavy blubber surrounding my heart, all started to melt away under the heat of your never-changing love. then i could not ignore it any longer. now, it is clearer than ever before and i'm in shock. is this really happening? will i really choose this? somewhere inside, i know i must! but.
so now i've started to reel in my heart strings that have gotten themselves anchored in what seems like the wrong place, for so long. i feel my heart start to beat more easily and my guts relax as i pull those strings in. what an insane, beautiful, excruciatingly painful mess we would all be in if you knew just what made me pull in these strings. what a disastrous, historical, monumental tragicomedy we would all be in if i actually followed my heart unquestionably and completely.
i mean, it only happens in movies, right?