obladi oblada in this life, change is a constant bla bla bla.

i like change. or maybe it's because i keep contracting the "grass-is-always-greener-on-the-other-side" syndrome. whatever it is, right now, i'm not coping with change too well.

not too long ago, i was feeling very down and i stated all my symptoms and upsets to a friend. i said that maybe i needed change. and he said, "i suspect that it's too much change for your liking." i thought, nar....

but now i think, yar...

everything's changing. it's like, the older u get, the more exponentially the amount of change in your life increases. and sometimes, it's just too much at one go. i'm just coping rather badly. i feel misunderstood. but i also feel that i may be misunderstanding some things that are important. it's really frustrating. and what makes me feel even more frustrated is my sense of helplessness, the fact that it's all happening at once and i can't stop or change any of it. how do you deal...

i guess i can try to change my attitude towards these changes instead. it's hard though. you might know what i mean. i guess only only one thing is constant. God. it's only our perception of him and his existence that changes just like everything else. sometimes, i just don't know whether to trust my thoughts or feelings, since they change so often too. so what or who can i trust? surely i must believe in something? oh gosh, now i'm totally confusing myself! help! good night!

hahahahahaha bah.