someone stuck a piece of a wristband on some part of the window pane of my ticket booth today and it was blank and i was bored and i wrote the all too familar verse by blake on it.

"to see the world in a grain of sand,
and heaven in a flower;
hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
and eternity in an hour."

and then i go back to reading "veronika decides to die" by paulo coelho and then read a paragraph about Infinity and Eternity and my heart stops and then starts, but only this time, it beats with a new vigour. is it a coincidence or merely the language of the universe? i'm not too sure about coincidences these days.

sometimes, alot of times these days, i feel sad during the nights or in the mornings when i'm alone. i don't know how i got this way because i used to love these moments. and today, i felt sorry for myself when i caught myself trying desperately to fill up the empty spaces of the day with people and activities to battle the time alone. then we sang a line of a verse of a song today..

"are you sinking in your sorrow?"

and i thought to myself, hell yeah.

and then...

"come spend some time with me, come away.."

such simple words. spoke volumes to me. why do i desperately try to fill up the loneliness and then crumple into a heap of despair after that feeling tired and angry that it's reached such a state? no really...the question is..why do i need to? is it a form of indulgence? is it my pride? or is it that i just forgot?

alot of times, i feel alot of things. things touch me in so many ways and i can't tell you i'm happy i can't tell you i'm sad but i can tell you i'm happysadmadglad and a whole lot more, if a whole lot more could say the whole lot. i can feel joy the way a perfect sunset brings joy in the midst of profound sadness that only sunsets can bring and i can feel profound sadness amidst the happiest day in the world. now tell me, am i crazy or am i alive? or are they the same?