it's a drizzly sunday morning. papa just finished bathing reno, and in my sleepy daze, at papa's request, i took videos of him cleaning reno's ears, brushing reno's teeth and combing reno's hair. as usual, reno tries to eat anything that comes into contact with his mouth (don't worry, he doesn't bite) so, as you can guess, he was trying to lick all the toothpaste up. it was a pretty funny sight, but reno is always doing these weird idiosyncratic things that only a reno does.

sometimes do you wake up really tired after dreaming? i feel awake but somewhat tired from the adventures my dreams took me on before i woke up this morning. they were so vivid, so strange, so crazy, so perplexing and so....real.

now i'm plonked down at the dining table which has become my new haven for studying, if one can even have a haven for studying. there's nothing much else to do but study really. i could go for a run, i could watch tv, i could read the papers...and i could think of you. i think i'll just study.

i have so many dreams, all these big plans swimming in my mind. sometimes, i feel excited when i study the things i study and i think about what all these things could do for life, for the world, and that i have access to this knowledge. and my gosh, all the things i could do! me, small little me, i could make a difference somewhere and for a while, i am smiling inside, excited as hell, devouring the pages. but the moment i look away, i get distracted and tired. just like when my stomach feels queasy and i start to eat and it doesn't feel so queasy when i eat but the moment i stop, it's queasy as hell. i don't know if that's an appropriate analogy but it's more or less the same feeling.

roxette's "listen to your heart" is playing right now and somehow, everytime i listen to this song, i feel a whole lot of feelings. they used to play this alot in morey's piers and it seemed to match my thoughts at the time too (so drama!). and everytime this song came on, it would be pretty surreal. people would still be screaming, doing silly things outside your booth, deciding what to buy. sometimes, some of the associates would walk by and smile, clean your window, whatever. and all this while you're sitting there behind that glass window, in your own world, watching the world outside go by, but with everything and everyone seeming to take on a different hue. i think this song will never be the same for melt and me. =)


view of mariner's landing from the back of adventure pier at night

And there are voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
The scent of magic, the beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind

p.s. happy children's day!