The realest things are my footsteps right now, one in front of the other. Everywhere else, it feels like only ghosts remain. Then suddenly, rose-gold clouds appear, making their great journey across the sunset sky. It is only polite to stop and let them pass. “After you, your majesties.”
A different kind of sadness bubbles away in me these days, one I am yet to grasp. I feel it in these footsteps, in my belly, behind my eyes, in the slowness. I think I’m terrified of listening to what it’s trying to say to me. I think I already kind of know. I also know that it’s ok to feel this. That it will not destroy me or make me weak or take away my will to live. I’m still alive, still breathing, still feeling, still a lot of things, and the people I love are still here. That’s something. I take another step, and then the next.
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