i was the walking dead today. everything felt so surreal. i was in the middle of sleep and being awake. considering i slept at close to 5am and was scolded awake at 9 plus am. it's the friggin holidays! let me sleep!

so i've completed the book mount misery by samuel shem. the one about the mental hospital. it's a gem of a book really.and i picked up alot of really good quotes from the book. the book was more than just about a mental hospital. it was about life itself. and people. good stuff. i only started writing down quotes towards the end of the book, regretting not writing more down earlier on. here are some.

"don't confuse self-doubt with radical questioning."
great quote for me. especially in relation to religion and stuff.

"Don't sit there thinking, "I'm better than him" or "I'm worse than him," see if you can see how "i'm like him." ...Identify, don't compare."
this particularly applies for me since the root of my depression at alot of times is my obsession with comparing. which coincidentally was the obsession of the main character in the story. reading it was like..BOOM! makes alot of sense.

"Suffering is forgetfulness, forgetting to breathe, to be with the life-breath, the spirit. Healing is connection."
i agree. healing can only take place if you choose to make that connection, with yourself, with people, with God. there is a touch of divinity in everyone. if we can find that, just imagine how much beauty we'd encounter in the world, in our lives.

"ASK."
my problem sometimes. i don't ask. too proud? too scared? by asking for help and for answers, i believe we are initiating the beginning stages of a miracle about to happen. when i'm down and out and pissed and lost and confused, i always shut up and keep to myself. but when i actually asked, it did wonders. and we're not the only ones who heal and benefit in the process of asking. we are helping the people whom we ask, too. opening doors for them as well as for ourselves.
"ask and the door will open."

"and faith, itself, in this day and age, is a revolutionary act."
i like this one. it's so true. it takes great courage and strength to believe in something you can't see. but we must always keep searching for the truth. accepting blindly is foolishness. only when you have truly searched and found your own truth is faith really sincere and pure.

ok. these were only taken from the last few pages of the book. the whole book is filled with stuff like these. the story is really interesting too, and so are the characters. sometimes disturbing, sometimes funny, sometimes sad and at all times, educational. i like it.

anyway, i've started on a new book. the last of the 3 i borrowed before hols. (lucky you, shireen). it's called the unfortunates. hope it's good.

and went to look at stereo systems and keyboard(music) with my dad and brothers just now. my dad wanted to get me something for my 18th. but they're all so expensive and i feel bad. actually, i told him that i don't mind settling for a massage chair. he says i'll grow sick of it.

how the hell do you get sick of getting a good massage??