right now, it's 17 minutes into the new day. today marks a really important day in my life. a turning point. a decision i'm making for myself and which life has made for me. i tell myself it's all for the better, to snap me out of the staleness i've been living in for so long. but am i just kidding myself? am i just consoling myself for something i'm gonna lose? am i gonna lose something important to me because of this? i'm sad and i'm worried because it's not a sure thing. there are so many things i would've loved to have done to put a stop to this anxiety, such unnecessary anxiety. but i fear the regrets that might come thereafter. i'd rather live with the hope that all is not lost than know for sure that it is. but i guess that's the reason why it's all getting stale.

so, today is a turning point. whether i like it or not, i must move on. i must embrace the new day and the new life ahead of me. it's going to be tough. i know it is. even though i tell myself it's no biggie.

i hope an answer may come to me one day, that i'll find it. i hope i'll know what to do about this whole thing. i hope i'll get through this and live to tell it without shedding a tear too many.

Dear God, please help me. Thank you.

(p.s. no, i didn't break up or anything. so that means, i leave you clueless again. =P )