i'm a teacher in a childcare centre now and i have to tell kids not to run around and climb everywhere and to finish their food and to play toys the way they're supposed to be played. and this concerns me because i've always believed in allowing children to express their creativity. and when they draw their strokes for the alphabets in the "wrong" order and i correct them because i'm supposed to and they ask me why they can't draw it that way, you know what? i can't give them an answer because i'd also like to know why it can't be drawn that way. or why the toy has to be played a certain way. it's quite ironic that the quickest way to stop being childlike is by being a pre-school teacher. but of course, i shall not allow that to happen for being childlike is really the secret to living a fulfilled and joyful life. so to make up for my school teacher demeanor, i secretly play "nonsensical" games with the kids and join in their whacked conversations and games. i don't want to forget that we have much to learn from children even though we're "the educators". though we may teach them math, english and the rules, they're the ones who constantly remind us of how life should be lived; to be free-spirited, transparent, vulnerable, honest and to enjoy every moment of it. seriously, just let them and every thing can be turned into a game or something to laugh about. the simplest things are a cause for amusement and wonderment.

there is one girl. her name is jade and i'm smitten. she's different from the other kids. she's about 3, and boy is she one small 3-year-old. she has short hair and looks like a pixie. in the mornings, when i walk through the gates, she comes up to me shyly, but one can see the glint of mischief in her eye and her cheeky smile. "ms shireen," she says softly and hangs around for a while. then she walks around observing what the other kids are doing, occasionally joining in bouts of laughter started by other kids or starting one herself. (she finds everything funny.) then she comes up to me again and reports an amusing discovery she's made. (sometimes it's from out of her imagination.)

now jade is one helluva slow eater! she's always the last one to finish and i'm always the one who stays behind to make sure she finishes her food. all along, i've been feeding her because when she puts a spoonful of food into her mouth, she starts daydreaming and stops chewing, forgetting she's got food in her mouth. i have to keep making deals with her and sometimes end up begging her and it gets really tiring. so on tuesday, after lunch, i gave her a lecture. yes i gave a 3-year-old this really long lecture about how "i was very very very very very tired of her giving me so much trouble at lunch and making everyone wait for her" and "was it fair to keep the aunty waiting for her so she could clean up or me?" and blablabla. (i knew she'd understand. she's a smart girl.) and after the lecture she agreed to finish up her food more quickly from the next day onwards. so yesterday, wednesday, before she went for lunch, she saw me reading a book to a boy named eden who's about 2 and is very mischievous too. but somehow, books have this calming magical effect on him as i've found out recently. so jade brought another book from the rack and wanted me to read it to her though everyone else had gone off for lunch. so i made a deal with her. i asked her if she remembered what i said to her the day before and asked her whether she would eat "like a good girl" if i read her the book and she said yes. and you know what? not only did i not have to feed her but she finished it so much faster! and for each spoonful that she took, i praised her and said something like "very good jade!" and "wow, jade!" or something like that.

the next took me by surprise. kids just know how to melt hearts. there i was busy nagging other kids and giving out apples for dessert and she said "ms shireen look at me." but i was busy so i couldn't really give my full attention to her. then she said, "ms shireen, look at me because.." and she said the next so softly.."because i love you."

i just felt so touched by her. not just because she said that she loved me but because she took me seriously and kept her promise to me. and i'm also touched by the way she says hello to me each morning. other kids run up to the teachers and hug them and scream their teachers' names. those are cute. but she's different. she just walks up to you quietly but her face speaks a thousand words and her smile a million more. she can be naughty and maybe she finds "too many" things funny, but i can't stay mad at her for long because she's just so pure and lovely. jade is not mushy or clingy. she's very smart and her imagination is just plain wild. (she likes to eat hair, thinks she's a monkey, likes to catch elephants and bathe with them, scares birds and talks to them, wears stickers on her forehead, etc, etc.) she's always bouncing around and ready to help others. she doesn't stay mad for long and i've never seen her cry. if the other girls don't share their toys with her, she's still happy. but she's always ready to share and never makes anyone feel unwanted or unwelcome (as kids are known to cruelly do at times.)

we have a really special friendship and i'll be sad when i stop working there at the end of the month. will she forget me? (kids have short-term memory.) will i ever see her again? who will read her stories and talk crap with her during lunch when she's the last one left? i know i sound like i'm one of her classmates or something but she's won me over with her charm.

lovely jadey jade (i call her that). she's a rare one.