"update your blog!!!" and so i am doing so now, phaemie. haha. but you must know, the only update this blog ever gives is just the present state of my thoughts. and even that is not very reliable for my thoughts are constantly changing and flowing like water, with no definite shape or form.

yay! i got the window seat! i'm sitting in the library right now. i don't know how it happened. i never used to sit in school libraries. i used to HATE staying back after school was over. i thought it was such a silly thing to do. i thought people who did such things were crazy and needed a life. but i seem to be finding myself here almost everyday, and in the same location. the cubicles on the 2nd floor. i really love this place and the time i spend here. it's when i can have my own quiet time and be absorbed in my own world, listening to music, surfing, reading, studying, whatever...and well, now, i got the seat right next to the window in the corner and i like it...

we were flying to italy and it was nighttime. everyone was sleeping. i arose from my slumber and sneaked a peek out of the window as i customary did from time to time because when you get the window seat, that's what you should do or you might as well not sit there at all. so i turned my head and pressed my nose against the window and i looked away. then i looked back outside again. so i really wasn't dreaming! we were literally surrounded by stars! millions! uncountable! the most i'd ever seen right infront of me for real! i sat there for a while, astounded and in awe of how such beauty can ever exist. i felt as though it was all for me. everyone was sleeping or watching their movies in the darkness and stillness of the night, and there was shireen with her whole face squashed against the window, her mind already wandering far from her aeroplane seat.

i had to tell someone. i had to tell the world! i woke my whole family up. blurry-eyed, disoriented and slightly irritated, i made each one of them go to the window and look outside and i know all who saw were left in awe and wonder of those things that were beyond what they could ever fathom.

we were returning from italy. i was watching some movie and it was day time, so i pulled down the shades to block out the reflection on my tv screen. but that's so NOT what a window-seated person should do! being knocked to my senses, i pulled up the shades and my first reaction was, "is it real?!!" below me, mountains and glaciers and snow and ice were stretched out in all directions and pretty much resembled what a vanilla ice cream planet covered in chocolate sauce would look like to me. again, i made my whole family get up and take a look.

the next time i peeked outside, i again had to ask myself whether i was seeing right. but by then, i should have been used to such surprises. far below was just plain desert, desert and more desert! i have never seen a desert in my life, besides on tv and in magazines, etc, etc. i never knew it was so beautiful. the folds and contours, the brilliance of the golden sand, the vastness of the desert to the extent you could not see where it started and ended just simply left me breathless and gasping for air.

sometimes when i'm in my room at home, i sit by the window and just stare outside, observing the people walking in my lane, the cars on the main road, the traffic lights changing colour, the clouds, the birds on the rooftops and antennas, the sunset sky, the moon when it's really late at night, the kids sneaking out of their houses, the couple walking their dog, the maids washing the cars. you get a room with a window with a view, you better look out of that damn window as often as you can. or else you might as well not live in it at all.

windows are meant to at least be looked out from, if not to be opened. our eyes, ears, sense of touch, our whole body are windows for our soul to "look" out from and for others to look into, to experience life in this form. we have to pull apart the curtains from time to time.....

right now, there's really nothing much happening outside my window though. there's still the same tree, the same beige building, the same sky though perhaps the clouds have shifted making way for others...but i still make sure i take a glance out regularly from time to time. that's what you do when you get the window seat.you don't want to miss a thing....