to a hypothetical you and the specific you

i'm writing all this here because you can't even bear to look at me, like a thing which should be despised. you don't have to take a single word here seriously. after all, you've already made your mind up about who you are, who i am and who everyone else is. i've been doing some thinking this week and here's what i figured whether you care to know or not.

i'm done with bashing myself up and apologising for not being the way you want me to be. you know what? too bad. go ahead, call me all sorts of things. push all the old buttons. try new ones if the old ones aren't getting you the results you want. tell another story about something which happened years ago even after we've apologised for the 587th time. and yes, do remind us about all the things you've done for us. then go out there and act like only your day's been ruined and it's everyone else's fault. really, go all out. tell everyone noone understands you and then, do nothing to understand others. blog about the injustices of the world against you. use all sorts of four-letter words on whoever you please and act as though the world has come crashing down on you when someone says it to your face. i'm serious, go out there and label everyone as you see fit. hypocrite, emotional, punkass, plastics, girl with a load of psychology bullshit, first child who gets everything, whatever you please. then explode like an atomic bomb when even just one is used on you. no, i mean it, just go ahead. after all, it's your life, your words, your actions, YOUR choices.

and YOUR consequences.

you see, but are you really looking? you're hurt, but can you really feel? it's easy to feel sympathy for lonely old people and the victims of the blood diamonds craze when it's not you we're talking about. when it's not you who's to be blamed. it's easy to be blinded by anger when it's you injustice has occured against. it's not easy to immediately put yourself in the shoes of the ones you rage against. but so what if it's easy, or not easy?

for years and years and years.

but no longer. no longer will i be there to take it all in. anymore. from anyone. i'll talk to you still. i'll choose to understand you still. i'll love you still with no condition. but don't talk to me if you cannot respect me (you don't even have to like me). oh, and there's a difference between plain respect and authority.





new beginning new freshness.