i was on the way to school this morning and the bus was passing this motor parts store along jalan besar (???), the one with the mannequins dressed in motor sportswear standing on top of the roof in poses too cool for school. so here's what tickled me today right. there was this guy (a mannequin) with a really long beard and a really long mustache dressed in his finest qing dynasty gear frozen in a chinese opera stance inviting passerbys to enter the store. then i glanced up on the roof right. and the mannequins who were usually decked in mini skirts and funky jackets were now in their finest chinese new year clothings ready to go to their uncles and aunties to collect their new year hong bao (red packets (money envelopes)). it just cracked me up! then i started wondering about them standing up there rain or shine, and lately, alot of rain. and i was like, oh what a pity! their new year clothes! then i was wondering further, maybe someone goes up on the roof to wear raincoats on them and place umbrellas over them when it rains. or maybe, they are brought in or stripped or i don't know? i wonder if there is a special job for that. hmmm. whatever.

so then, i was sitting on the second deck of the double-decker bus and still looking outside and General Wu Tang was now somewhere far behind when i noticed the outer casing of the red light camera and i don't know why but my first instinct was to check that i had my seatbelt on. the only thing is, buses don't have seatbelts and for a few seconds, i was wondering where i was. have you ever had that feeling of losing the sense of where you are physically? like when you wake up after an afternoon nap and it's evening and the sun is almost down or already gone, and you feel disoriented and puzzled about time and space? or when you sit down and keep still for a while and suddenly you feel like you've floated away from your body? like your arm or leg doesn't belong to you anymore? i don't know, it just happens.


i don't know why but despite all my fellow year 4 friends telling me they don't see people they know around in school very much already, i keep seeing them all the time. however, i feel a strong urge to remain unnoticed, unrecognised, invisible. when i choose a place to sit, i'm hoping it's the most obscure (but comfortable) place. or if i'm walking, i've decreased my range of visibility to like right infront of me, trying not to turn my head left and right too much though i love to look at things. i don't know why. perhaps it's just a phase. perhaps i'm scared that i'm really forgotten, unnoticed, invisible and don't want to know it for sure. it's pretty silly but that's me right now. shireen the recluse. the hermit. the whatever. maybe i should read that exchange manual that OIR sent for students coming back from exchange. i don't know. i think i'll concentrate on finishing this mushroom spaghetti that tastes like phlegm and get down to work. irk.