exams finally ended today (saturday). i don't know how i'm going to do for them but not expecting the best. not even going to expect because i'm not even going to think about them. don't know what got into me..haha..

just got back from my cousin's wedding reception. so many cute kids!!! all my little cousins and nephews!! at one point in time, i felt like i was a shepherd with many little sheep around my ankles. ok, they're not that small. but they were so funny and cheeky. pulling my scarf. giving me taps on my shoulder and running away. trying to scare me. showing off their "tattoos". telling me they want to go "shi shi". (i know what SOME of you reading are thinking, shhhh) haha...

the littler ones were in their own little worlds where they were the centres. when the photo montage was being screened, little joashie went up to the front and started dancing as though all the attention were on him. but that kid seriously knows how to groove! the 2-t0-4-year-olds were all acting grown-up around the babies, patting the babies' heads and rocking their baskets, talking to them in only words they could understand and screaming in their faces to wake them up and, beat this, putting their chests on the faces of the babies! (must be to try to breast-feed them or something!!! oh my gosh! these kids!!)

surjit is one funny guy. he always has a crazed look in his eyes. he took off his vest and put it on my head. then he ran away. his sister came and took the vest back to his mom. when surjit came back, he started asking around with a really bewildered and blur expression, "where is my raincoat??" raincoat! haha.

i remember there was once when these 3 siblings, surjit, sunil and sumeeta, came over to my house. their parents wanted to talk with my parents downstairs so i was entrusted to take care of them. i didn't know what to do so i whipped out the video cam and let each of them do some filming while the rest of us just jumped around shouting like hooligans and making monkey faces at the camera. i had to jump around and do all those stupid stuff too (cos i initiated it haha) and you could see by the end of that video, i was almost dead...but those kids, do kids ever get tired?? whenever i watch that video, i always shake my head at how silly we looked but inside, i'm really smiling and glad i captured this memory. who knows? ten to fifteen years down the road one day, one of them might be getting married, and this video might just appear on the screen at one of their wedding receptions. i bet when they are 27, they might have forgotten how crazy they used to be, how free..and when they watch it, they'll cover their faces under their napkins but i know that deep inside, they will be smiling too, as they remember how carefree and silly they used to be and that they once had that in them...

reminds me of one of my childhood videos. not sure whether i posted about this before. pravin and i were in our pyjamas and there was this little elephant playing drums (very noisily) and there we were "dancing". pravin used to follow whatever i did. jeevan wasn't born at that time. i was jumping around like mad, with my hair all over the place, shaking like crazy. and pravin followed suit. and those smiles on our faces! (we were too breathless to laugh out loud i think, or if we did, we laughed breathlessly.) and whenever i think about that clip, i feel happy. because it reminds me that times like those existed in my life where i was so free and so happy and so crazy and young. makes me know i had it in me once and perhaps, still do.

i seem to be very reminiscent in these past few entries, huh? but it's nice to remember, sometimes. i don't want to let these memories slip away. as i grow older (i know i'm only 20), i realise how much easier it is to forget. we start getting so caught up with school, with our careers, with making impressions, getting the right contacts, bla, bla, bla...and we just forget. i know i've been forgetting alot.

and now remembering alot. it's all come at a really apt time. just as another insane term at smu was being wrapped up, the termites which ate up the cabinet forcing us to take out the old photos and albums, the death of a strange old man, the reminder from ofotos.com threatening to terminate my account, an email typed late one night, a wedding and god knows what else all converged to take me back to who i am. to take me back home...

"let the children come to me and do not stop them, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."

i am. home. heaven. god. hmmm....