"nothing compares, nothing compares....to you."

a 10-day road trip accounts for the temporary silence you found this blog in. 8 of us got together in 2 cars and headed for the north where i can honestly say i had the time of my life! we got back on sunday night, monday morning really, at around 130am. and i don't mean to sound mushy but i already started to miss my 7 other halves who saw through all those wonderful moments and experiences with me in the north. how could i not miss them when for 10 or 11 days straight, i saw their faces from the moment i woke up in the morning to the moment i fell asleep at night. i don't even see my loved ones back at home so often in a day! haha. and when i woke up yesterday morning, i felt some kind of ache, which i prescribed as a form of cold turkey from the lack of packing up and taking off with my buddies to explore a new town or average a speed of 110km/h on the motorways. the cure for that: another roadtrip on a school day in our very own "hometown". it just lasted a few hours but it was amazing! i didn't know my own backyard itself was such a gem for the senses to behold!! i feel like i could go roadtripping forever but alas, it is back to reports and case studies and lectures and the like. woo. hoo.

but i'll save all that for the next post. right now, i want to talk about reno rally royal (click here!!). for those not in the know, reno was our child/brother/grandpa for the past 14 years and in pravin's (my brother) words, remained a pup til his dying day. reno passed away 2 sundays ago, on the 26th of august, the same day i went skydiving in taupo, where coincidentally (is there really such a thing as coincidence?), my crazy tandem instructor was also named reno. a part of me shriveled up that night in that little hostel in rotorua when i got the news. i released silent tears into my pillow as everyone slept, knowing that my house at home would never be the same again. i couldn't possibly imagine the quiet, the emptiness on the front porch when i get back. no reno barking madly at the sneaky birds stealing his food, no reno disarming me with his smiling eyes and perfect smiles, no reno hungrily gobbling up random scraps you drop on the floor, no reno resting his head on your lap or licking up all the toothpaste when you brush his teeth...no reno.

to the world, he was probably just some dog. they go aww and walk on and get back to their lives and that's just how it is. but there was something special about reno. he really had such a character, he was almost human. i'd like to think of him as my little brother. i remember how he used to take me for walks, i remember the feeling of his head on my lap, i remember how he used to run circles to gain momentum before climbing up the stairs, how he ran wildly in our old house in chuan park and kept banging into the cupboard in one of the rooms.

the few weeks before he died, i started to get strange and beautiful dreams about reno. reno had reached the point where he couldn't walk anymore because the arthritis was killing his legs. he used to cry in pain every night and it broke our hearts. that's why we had to put him to sleep. in those dreams, reno was running wildly like he used to, this big crazy messy ball of fur. in those dreams, he ran up all 3 floors of stairs to my room and i'd wake up and find his face staring up at me as i looked down at him from my bed. he was young and pain-free and just as cute (he never grew out of cute). and i'd like to think that's just how he is right now.

i know everyone at home is missing him like mad. i know i do. i knew when i left home that it was probably my last goodbye to him (which is why i was crying like a baby when i said bye to him). but lets be ever thankful for having had reno in our lives all these years and the joy and unconditional love and laughter he brought us. let us never forget him but smile whenever we remember him and how silly and adorable he was. i choose to believe he is now the way he was in all those dreams i dreamt. i love you reno rally royal. you know, nothing compares to you. may you be reading this in those dog glasses of yours and give a knowing bark from heaven.

(a random video taken one morning/afternoon on the front porch. papa was having his tea and reno, as usual, was enjoying being in the centre of all the action. that is aunty bringing papa his tea. reno and aunty had some special connection, methinks. such a duo they were.)

is the window clouding up or is it my eyes? my grief is private here in the backseat. 14 years of my life, you were always there when i got home. unless you went for grooming. you won't be there when i come home now. i hope you are in a better place, young and new forever, where you can run up stairs and stop crying. i love you reno rally royal.
- message to reno, penned down in the backseat of the car during our travels in rotorua