oh man, what is SHE doing back here again?? ready to feed us more crap??

yes siree! and not because i'm still stuck on my depression report (it's done, complete with cover page and all!! woohoo!!). and not because i have something smart and philosophical to say [hey, i actually might, i always do! ;) [ am very strict about these bracket things thanks to my early math education and am really anal about this]]. rather, it's only just because.. I CAN!!! neninenipoopoo!!

popped by to shanny's blog and she's started talking to herself. popped by to my blog and i found traces of similar conversations with myself. and i'm pretty sure if i popped over to more blogs, i'd find the same pattern. freud would be pleased to see these debates going on between our ids and our superegos on the world wide web in the 21st century, wouldn't you, freud? now i'm talking to a dead psychoanalyst.

i keep watching that OMD video below over and over again. and you should too. the use of colours are amazing! the song itself is beautiful! and i can imagine myself humming that in my mind a few years down the road as i recall the adventures i embarked on when i was younger. but i hope i never reach the stage where i can't bring myself to believe in anything, like how he says he doesn't believe in destiny, love, miracles and truth. for someone who was once walking on the milky way, invincible and iridescent.

speaking of not believing in anything, i just finished a book called, "i'm a believer" by jessica adams, about a guy who didn't believe in anything. it's a strange book, one i picked up as i casually loitered into a second-hand bookshop in kaikoura (aren't 2nd hand bookshops so alluring?). i made the poor old lady at the counter recommend me all sorts of books and churn out synopses from memory and finally settled for the book i laid my eyes on in the first place. isn't that always the case, ladies?

so in this book, this guy's girlfriend dies in a car accident and her spirit starts communicating with him. and suddenly, this guy starts meeting all the different kinds of people he's been avoiding for so long. new age hippies, holy-moly christians, buddhists, psychics. (strangely, almost everything described in the book has happened in my life or around me to people i know!) but seriously, don't be put off by all this. the book isn't about which way is the right way and all that. it's about believing. can you honestly say you know everything? and just because you don't, does that mean you shouldn't believe in anything, not until you know everything? dude, you only have like one lifetime as peter or raja or macy gray or whoever you are. if that's the case, do you think you could get every question answered? and even if you did get every question answered, do you think you would know everything finally? what if there were things you didn't even know you didn't know, where are the questions for those things? what would life be if it were drowned with downright skepticism and cynicism? what would life be without believing, in anything? just wondering, really. i honestly don't know whether it's better believing in something or not believing in anything at all just because it doesn't seem logical. i do know that if i didn't believe in anything, i wouldn't be the shireen i am today. would my life be grey or still as colourful as it is now? would i be a scrooge living in my closet? would i love as dangerously? would i roam as wildly? i don't know really. and it's not like i can try because you can't just throw your faith away like that, especially if it's who you are. what an experiment that would be! i shudder.

yesterday, the hindus were commerating the elephant god, ganesha. and i recalled one such celebration some years back where reports were flying around that the ganesha idols were drinking milk! in india, there was a shortage of milk in many places because people were queuing up at temples to feed it to the ganesha idols. i asked mansi about this yesterday (she's hindu) because she told me that her family would be celebrating back home in india and she would be missing out on all the delicious food. she told me that it really had something to do with the porousness of the idols and some surface tension thing. i searched the net about this and i found these similar explanations. the thing is, most of them probably still believe that ganesha drank the milk and their belief in this would be totally unshakable! then, i was researching about those statues of mary or jesus which were reported to have shed tears or blood. there have been cases where these incidents were a hoax or just a result of some natural process. yet, throngs of people would rush to see them.

i'm not ruling out the fact that miracles don't happen. in fact, i do believe such things are possible. what is amazing about this whole thing though, is a person's immense need to believe in something. even before jesus, even before buddha, people still believed in something. whether it was the greek gods and goddesses or the gods of nature. they still needed to believe in something and believed with all their hearts. now, it's easy for us to sit back here and scoff at their ignorance but, i ask once again, is it really better to believe in nothing? and, so what?

alright, so this is what i'm gonna do. i'm going to finish up the posts for the north island trip and the ski trip which was the week before north island trip. and then, i can get back to the normal, sporadic rants that i so often love to blog. teeheehee.