questions...

when does too much become too much and an overkill? is it really just me? why couldn't my heart stay where it should have stayed? why can't my mind be where it should be? why do i feel so scared to fulfil "yes"'s which i so bravely said? will we ever really know? how will i get through the week...no, today? when can i ever read these books? i want to do them more than all these other things. why didn't you? why did i? what do i do now? what do i wear tomorrow? what should i bring to school? what should i pack? what do i do when i first wake up later? will i have time to do everything? when should i call them? where should i go? what is the restlessness saying to me? am i walking towards another deadend? am i forgetting someone or something? can i still remember my salsa steps? what about finance and MPW? why do i do the things i do or say the things i say? what am i waiting for? why am i still waiting? why do i ask these questions and run away from the answers?

because deep down inside, i know they're already there...but i'm afraid to see them.

(and yet, i must)