i realised what that feeling was. in the previous post. it was like the feeling of...waiting to die. another state i never want to be in. of rot and decay. like the potato i found in a bag in my room this morning which freaked the hell out of me! when the fruits of procrastination ripen, methinks they'd pretty much look like that rotten potato which was left there for...(GASP!)...3 months!

i was searching for the gorillaz "clint eastwood" lyrics just now and came across a peculiar site. it was a site for people who claimed they had no friends and it actually had about 15 members or so. they were all really depressed and suicidal because they were so lonely and felt so unwanted, used and worthless. i'm sure some of us fall into that state sometimes. but for them, this loneliness, it's like a disease they can't shake off. as much as they have a part to play in this state of being (because i think loneliness is a state of mind), the rest of the world does too. every action has a consequence. everytime we marginalise someone, god knows what were are doing to that person. no, i don't think we can justify that.

help! ever since my mom bought a new adaptor and the keyboard came back to my room, i've been playing non-stop! now my back continuously aches cos i sit there too long with a really bad posture and my wrists really ache cos i think i play at a really weird angle. i don't know whether i'm making more noise or music but all i have to do is glance at the keyboard and i'm whacking the keys in a frenzy the next second. exams start in 3 days.

and end in 5 days! woohoo!