i watched the motor inc dudes drive us from smu to jb and i told myself, one day, one day i'm gonna drive as confidently and with as much gung-ho-ness. i was driving around the go-kart race track at permas jaya and i told myself, one day, one day i'm gonna rule this track and take a photo with that trophy on that dirty, run-down "grand stand". i was playing pool with jeremy while waiting for melt and dookie to clear immigration and i told myself, one day, one day i'm gonna kick ass at pool. as i was walking home after alighting from the cab, i thought about whether i would want to spend money on stuff like go-karting in the future especially when i have to start making my own money and i didn't know what to tell myself. i was sitting in the toilet and a thought suddenly hit me that i was waiting for something, but i didn't know what that "something" was. i was sitting in a car with some strangers today, out of which some were gentle and well-mannered one second, and absolutely vulgar the next and i told myself, wow i'm beginning to think inconsistency is consistent in humans and that noone can really be black or white and this has huge implications for me. today, a thought pranced about in my mind for a few moments...that clothes and the whole idea of them are such strange things, but i didn't tell myself that it was time to run around naked. today, i was observing the guy who was giving us instructions in mandarin at the go-kart place while entertaining a cigarette in one hand, and later on, as he was doing his job on the track, i told myself, if i ever produced a movie, i would have a character like him in it and it was characters like him who brought to life the magic in movies. and i told myself that this was an important point to note if i ever decided to produce my own movie. i waited and waited and waited today, and i told myself, wow, i've spent almost the whole day waiting. sometimes, i get so used to my hand being bent a certain way or my legs being folded another way or my hair being wet that i don't even feel them there anymore (i.e. i feel legless or armless or hairless!) i felt an immense sense of fatigue overpower me and i told myself, maybe it's time to sleep.